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My boys are 10 and 6.
That's a 4 year age gap between them.
In the first few years of my firstborn's life, he was always the priority. We would spend money endlessly on toys, cute clothes, bring him out to play, etc. But something felt... missing.
He had no one to play with. ๐
When I got pregnant with my 2nd child, I was ecstatic, knowing that he finally has a sibling to play with. But is that all there is to having a second child? Born into the world just to be a companion for the firstborn?
But 6 years in, they have grown up together, fought alot together (boys will be boys ๐), and most importantly, they learned alot from each other.
No regrets having a second child. ๐๐ป
But for anyone considering expanding the family, these are the considerations you have to take note of:
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Pros
โจ Both kids will never be alone when growing up
โจ Both kids can share the same routine (sleep/nap/milk)
โจ The older child is less likely to feel jealous because they still can't understand complex emotions at that age
โจ Your body can still remember the essential duties during the newborn stage
โจ Your kids can wear matching outfits and pretend they are twins (my fav!)
Cons
๐ฅ You will feel tired all the time x999
๐ฅ Extra time spent on each task - feeding, changing diaper, putting to sleep
๐ฅ Pay double for everything - bottles, pram, baby cot, clothes, school fees
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Pros
โจ Your kids are still able to grow up together
โจ They can share the same interests
โจ The best time to teach the older sibling positive values such as sharing, caring and helping out
โจ Save money by using older sibling's hand-me-downs
Cons
๐ฅ Divided attention will definitely affect older sibling
๐ฅ Older sibling might experience new emotions such as jealousy, neglect, feeling wronged, guilt
๐ฅ Expect lots of mess around the house
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Pros
โจ More 1-to-1 time with each child
โจ Older sibling less likely to feel threatened or jealous of the arrival of younger sibling
โจ There's someone to look up to for younger sibling
โจ Older sibling can help out with basic chores around the house
โจ Older sibling is mostly self-sufficient in daily tasks, allowing you to focus on newborn
Cons
๐ฅ You need to relive the dreaded newborn/breastfeeding stage all over again
๐ฅ Each child has their own interest and preferred entertainment, limiting the options for bonded family activities
๐ฅ You need to use different parenting methods for each child
๐ฅ Having to buy baby stuff all over again