distancing from a friendship

hello zesties! 🍋

im back with another friendship story! (there seems to be alot but i promise, this one is valid too and i swear its not a me problem HAHA)

so lets name her 💟. i met 💟 in secondary school. we only started become friends in secondary 3, when our friend groups started merging together. we had only ever exchanged smiles in the hallways during secondary 1 & 2. funny enough, she knew about me because i was close friends with a guy she liked and had a thing with. (i swear, me and him were just friends and i’d even give him advice on how to chase her. but because me and the guy were in the same class, we became close friends and she’d walk past my class and see us talking. WE WERE JUST FRIENDS HAHA)

we started becoming very close throughout secondary 3 and she became one of my bestest friends since. i’d ask her out for anything and she’d say yes always. we would visit many places and we also had a common love for visiting museums, which resulted in us always revisiting the same museums or any new exhibitions together. we even went to christmas wonderland twice together m! we were single and just wanted to go to see the lighting always. one downside was 💟 was terrible as replies. i had known this since we started our friendship but it didn’t bother me much since she’d always reply either a few hours later or at max, a day later.

we remained close til poly. we even had a friend group with another girl, lets name her ❤️‍🔥. the three of us would meet for dinner and go many places together. whenever either one of us travelled, we’d always buy souvenirs or gifts for one another. we’d also share many tea with each other (especially about boys 😮‍💨) we had even met each others parents and went over to each others house. they even had a sleepover at my place for my 18th birthday (this is important, just remember this)

then we graduated poly and wanted to plan a graduation trip to korea together. heres where it all came crashing down.

we were all 20 back then and since we weren’t 21, we had to ask for permission for our parents (background: me and ❤️‍🔥 had stricter parents as compared to 💟 but all our parents were protective so going without permission and just telling them would not sit well with them)

we had met for lunch one day and started discussion the trip and how we were all gonna ask our parents. so after that meetup, we had all gone home to ask our parents. this was months before the trip (we planned to go in april 2024, and this was about august 2023(?) so there was still quite some time)

at this point, my mum had agreed for me to go and ❤️‍🔥’s parents were still considering. we would ask 💟 about it and she said her mum didnt allow. at first, we thought it’s because it’s too far, since it would’ve been all our first time out of the country without her parents. we then suggested other options that her parents would agree but she would always say “she doesn’t wanna push her mum” so she wont ask again or “i’ll ask later once she’s more calm” which she wouldn’t ask anyways until we pushed.

then a few months later, sometime in september, she had gone to genting with a few friends. these friends were friends she made in poly. the group she went with consisted of 2 guys and 2 girls, including herself.

when ❤️‍🔥 and i saw this, we suggested to her about going genting instead since she was able to go with her poly friends. she took days to reply before telling us her mum doesn’t allow her to go to genting with us either.

at this point, we were getting a little frustrated because we had been asking for months and 💟 would always reply days later or even weeks. even for a dinner we had planned to meet for, when asking to confirm the date, 💟 only told us she couldn’t make it 2 DAYS before the meetup. (as seen in slide 5)

i had even told ❤️‍🔥 that usually i wouldn’t mind 💟’s late replies but this was getting out of hand. it felt like 💟 didn’t even care about the trip or about us at all anymore.

the last straw was when 💟 told us, her mum was more comfortable with her poly friends than us, that’s why she allowed 💟 to go to genting with them. her mum even said no to a staycay in singapore (but 💟 could stay over at my place????)

it made ❤️‍🔥 and i feel like 💟 just didn’t wanna go at all and was just using her mum as an excuse (there are many screenshots but if i were to insert them all, it’d be a very long powerpoint slide)

at this point, the friendship between 💟 and the two of us (❤️‍🔥 and i) were falling apart quickly. ❤️‍🔥 and i had just decided to go ahead with the trip without her in the end and communication between us and 💟 had also stopped.

we were tired of just having late replies and no effort from 💟’s end.

and at this point, about a whole 1-2 years after all this, ❤️‍🔥 and i have come to terms with the distancing of our friendship with 💟. we still follow 💟 and vice versa, but there just isn’t a need in pursuing the friendship any further if there’s no effort or care.

#MyFreeTime #GirlTalk #RealTalk #friendship #friendshipstruggles