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hello zesties! 🍋 this post is a continuation of 3 things my ex-es made me hate about guys, how they made me felt insecure in certain ways & how did my current boyf changed my view abt these.
read pt 1 on y i hate guys who play games
read pt 2 on how my ex cheated on me w my bestfriend
❓why do i hate / felt insecure of XXX
🚩 why it is a red flag for me
👦🏻 how my current boyf changed my view
so now we are onto our FINAL part of this series!
3️⃣ my ex often made me doubt myself & i spiralled down 🌀📉
❓arguments are NORMAL btwn couples, however what differentiates a healthy r/s & a toxic r/s is how the couple face the problem. most of the time i alw raise my concerns or problems arising frm the r/s to my ex. i cld type a loooonggg paragraph on y i felt this way, y is this a problem, y r u treating me liddis, etc…
but guess what was his reply? he js replies w a one liner, sometimes it cld b ‘ok sorry’ or sometimes it cld be ‘u js w me to feel bad?’, uw to cont being tht way, y bother tlking to me?’ & the list goes on…
instead of acknowledging the problem, feel sorry & try to solve the problem, he js THROW THE PROB BCK TO ME 😵💫 & make it sound as tho he’s nt in the wrong & HE IS THE VICTIM 😀
THATS NOT ALL! manipulating is his FORTE 😎 he cld first asked me ‘can u gv me xxx’ , ‘can u do xxx w me’ & i wld STRAIGHT AWAY SAY NO. THEN, he wld proceed to guilt trip me & say ‘if u dont gv me xxxx, i will be sad’ 🙂 also he will start showing me attitude & ignoring me 🫨 im a PEOPLE PLEASER & i js dw to stir anym problems so i alw js give in & overtime he js cont using this TACTIC to get wtv he wants out of me….
🚩 this is another HUGEEE red flag that i fail to see bc love is blind 👩🏻🦯 this was a huge lesson to me to not doubt my self worth, & STOOP BELOW to the land of no returns 🥲 i was literally holding on to a thread & hoping everytg will turn out for the best 🥹🥹🥹
👦🏻 until i met my current boyf, i realise i was NEVER the problem in my prev r/s. whenever we hv arguments, my bf will alw try his best to speak in a calm manner, tries to unds my pov, find solution to the problem 🥹 also he will alw try to cheer me up whenever i feel down, he wld bring me out to gaigai & do the things i like w me, sometimes he wld even surprise me w food & snacks 😋
about the manipulation part, i felt tht i was so used to saying YES to my ex, i bcame scared to say NO, i was scared tht the same thing wld hpn. but my current bf was so assuring & whenever i reject him, he wld unds & not blame me 🥰
thats all folks! thanks for reading my 3 lengthy posts of this series 🤪 hope yall enjoyed the TEA SPILLING 🍵🍵🍵
#RealTalk #Postin3 #GirlTalk #RelationshipStory #relationshipadvice #coupleadvice #storytime #WeeklyChallenge #boyfriendtips