Normalise not having surprises in a r/s✅

I’m not going to lie but I’m someone that LOVES surprises, so I like others to surprise me eg. For my bdays and I enjoy surprising others too! I think surprises are super cute ~ and I used to believe that only when you plan a surprise in a rs, it means you are putting in the extra effort and go the extra mile to know what the other person wants.

But over time esp being in a rs for almost 4 years, even though I still love surprises, I learnt that it is okay to normalise not having surprises ALL THE TIME in a r/s.

I guess this is bc even for someone like me that likes to surprise my partner, I will sometimes run out of ideas as well bc both of us have already been together for a p long time.. so he kinda alr has EVERYTHING including handmade gifts that I make for him… so I come to realise that it is ok to just ask what the other party wants / needs!

For instance, during his birthday, he will tell me he needs a duffel bag or mahjong case~ I’ll still surprise him itll be for other aspects such as surprising him for the lunch / dinner place we are eating at instead.

And then for me, during our Valentine’s Day / my bday I’ll tell my partner that I want flowers or a pandora charm. Because I would rather tell him what I rly want instead of making him guess through my hints wrongly and getting what I don’t want / don’t need. And then I’ll tell him I want a surprise for the lunch / dinner place that we are going instead to celebrate the occasion (unless I know where I want to eat at as well)

there are so many tiktok trends that will say “if he want to do it he will” —> as much as this is true to a certain extent, I also think normalising not having surprises all the time is healthy in a r/s as well 🫶

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