My boyfriend started “loving” me more

Hey Zesties 🍋✨,

After watching many #kdramas , I have of course fantasized about this trope of me falling first and him falling way harder and being the girl I am, I literally prayed for it. What? I’m literally just a girl! 🎀☁️🩰🕊️🫶🏻

So God did answer but mannn… was that hard. Kdramas did show that it would be cute but they didn’t talk about the journey there.

My partner and I have been together for almost 3 years now and these 3 years have changed me a lot , helped me discover and grow a lot as a person. I learned about how love takes a lot of effort and patience unlike what they show in kdramas. I also learnt more about psychology which guided me in my decision to pursue and undergrad in Psych 🧠!

#storytime : My partner chased me and like what they say, rizzed me up really well. I mean, the courting season is the phase you feel the most euphoric. Everything felt lovely but after 7 months, I started to notice that he was drifting but it also felt weird because I could still feel that he loves me. I gave him a hairband but he always found excuses not to wear it and although it was a small detail, me being curious George decided to pry into it further and poked him a couple of times.

At this point, he already opened up about his family’s extremely messy background of an absent father and a narcissistic and verbally abusive mother. After a long talk, he confessed to me that he had commitment issues like WHAT??? WE 7 MONTHS IN THEN U TELL ME??? I FALL FOR U LIKE CRAZY THEN U TELL ME. BASKET RIGHT THIS GUY. But after that 30s pause, I just wanted to give him a hug. I realized how broken he was and trust me, his family situation is like a zoo let loose and I saw it with my own eyes, no confirmation bias I promise. So well to do but so messy. Literal meaning of money can’t bring u all the happiness u long for. (Still brings u happiness tho 🤭)

He feared the idea of being scared to lose someone because the love between his parents changed. “How would I know if you or even me, won’t change.I love you a lot and that’s why I’m scared.” Kinda feeling wattpad Alpha king vibes RAWR 🦁🎀

Maybe empathy took over me and that point I just gave him a hug because I can’t imagine how painful it must feel to grow up in an incomplete and unhealthy family not knowing what love feels like.

Well, we could have easily broken up. But I was interested in how childhood trauma, abuse and incomplete family can affect your mental and emotional well-being. It must have felt really lonely for him. I didn’t go in with the “I can fix him” mindset SO I AM NOT ENCOURAGING ANY OF YOU GIRLIES TO DO THAT. It has to be a TEAM EFFORT!!!! If you have lots to offer, hE OSO BETTER HORH! Plus, he was 90% a #greenflag all along anyways so I could tell his love for me was genuine. 90% because no one is perfect I’m also a red flag 🚩 at times

We started working together on his commitment issues because he communicated that he loves me a lot and its his fear that’s acting like a defense mechanism. Like every other relationship, we had our compromises. Which meant that he stepped out of his comfort zone to learn what love and being in a relationship is, while I had to learn how to be patient. Kinda giving Mrs #haileybeiber and Mr Justin kinda vibes. They’re so cute tho istg! Used to be her no.1 hater I admit… but HEY PEOPLE CAN CHANGE FOR THE BETTER

People tend to have this idea that love comes easily and it’s like a rom-com but the most accurate rom-com is #thenotebook . You guys are going to bicker a lot and grow a lot. Your relationship will not be healthy all the time, it will be toxic at times. AT TIMES AH NOT ALL THE TIME OKAY MY GIRLIES!

A few more months passed and he started improving a lot in terms of showering me with love, opening up more and expressing his emotions better. Before we know it, it was our anniversary and yeah things were going great until… a tragedy struck us.

He was diagnosed with Stage 2 Lymphoma. At this point I was like walu God u make this guy suffer in his childhood not Enof meh. Let this man catch a break!!!! Let him breathe hellauerr! I will make a story time about that another day so please stay tuned my dearest Zesties 🫶🏻

During his 7 months of chemotherapy, I stuck by him everyday like I MEAN EVERYDAY, travelling from Chinese Garden (my place) to Novena (Mt E Novena Hospital) or his place at Bradell. It was crazy. Rushing down to the AnE while showering at 12am, receiving emergency calls at 6am, studying in his hospital room for my exams, wah crazy. Calming down his tantrums and anxiety. I also don’t know how I did that but at that point, everything was too fast to even process my emotions. Looking back, I think I would give the last year me a hug because the 18 year old me carried someone else when she was barely carrying herself.

But, he saw it all. He knew what love was, finally. He knew that love is not blood or marriage but love is through life and death, through worse and for better, for stronger and for weaker. From then, I could see a huge change in him. The way he loved me was more gentle than a #johnsonjohn baby wash and powder. The tone he spoke, the gestures he did, the cards he wrote and the love he expressed. He grew as he realized.

The best part was when I started going to Church, he started tagging along and accepted Christ with me later on. Also another story time so stay tuned Zesties!

Even as he recovered from cancer and is in Uni now, in remission, he is a growing man in his pursuing Jesus, “I wanna be a Godly man for u, for us and our future family” era. My UTERUS IS ITCHING.

Of course, it isn’t a happily ever after now yet, there is no such thing as happily ever afters. There is no such thing as no more arguments but its how you solve things.

So Zesties, what’s your love story trope like?

#storytime #GirlTalk #RealTalk #relationship