When your loved one 'cannot see money'

⚖️My tips on...

how to manage a spendthrift habit.

🕯️earlydays

When my husband and I started dating, I was rationing food with my daughter. Literally, we pack rice and dishes separately and then we mix and match. We eat 3-4 meals a day consuming 200g to 500g of rice per day. We eat till we're 80% full and we leave room for water or desserts.

🕯️however

My husband, then boyfriend, was going through our rations like the new Dyson WashG1. Like, korang, aku terkejut because I didn't think that being the age that we are, he couldn't grasp the concept of 'rationing'. That was, until I went to his family's, that I realised that most people would either go big or not eat at all.

I was the odd one there, whether this worked for me or not. That said, I wasn't going to give up my way just because others don't do the same. The reason I rationed was because I wanted to make sure my daughter and I got the right and proper nutrients and that we don't over eat or waste food. This way we also regulate our cashflow well.

🕯️transition

So it began... the task of adopting good habits and then keeping to them. It takes 28 days to break a bad habit, and I now have forever with him. Let's start now eh?

🍵here are some habits we broke

× ordering 'double portions' every time he dines out with me

✓ we now order single portions each OR single plates to share. and if he's still hungry there's always another food place to try out.

#mindfulspending

× not eating breakfast/lunch at work and end up bingeing at night

✓ pack home cooked food or make a simple dish in the morning before work without compromising on hunger.

#tingkatmeal

× buying something expensive that he wants with the whole of his salary

✓ we set aside a portion of his salary and purchase it after 3-4 months (because satisfaction is a lot sweeter when you do it this way too)

#delayedgratitude

× spending money we don't have

✓ cut out on ALL instalments or credit facilities for now till he gets to keep 3-6 months of his salary

#emergencysavings

× spending the WHOLE of his salary on payday

✓ set aside money for all the bills and delay spending on everything else by 2 weeks

#6jarmoneymanagement

× having one account to keep his money

✓ as any FP/FA would tell you, inflation eats 100% of your money so we signed an investment plan to help him force save and use the 6 jar money management system to budget the rest

🕯️ communication

It's not easy to broach the subject on finances, but I'm glad I did. My husband did not receive it well at first because we grew up differently, but remember empathy and consideration for each other. RADICAL CANDOUR, don't just run your mouth and expect the other party to understand. Okay? I'm here for you if you need tips on how to communicate finances with your partner. Lord knows I was SO NERVOUS WHEN I DID.

But if your partner becomes defensive, give space. And if your partner is not receptive to this, try to work on an alternative. And if this doesn't work too, ask yourself if this is a non-negotiable for you.

Needless to say, we've fallen off the wagon more times than I can count with my fingers but the key is to keep consistent, keep accountable, and don't give up! If something is not working out for you and fam, change it, but never stop trying!

Having a partner also means that you and your partner want to be better people for each other, and for yourselves. This is a good thing. Trust ❤️ 🙆🏾‍♀️