Family more than anything ❤️

I just said “see you” to my dad as the nurses wheeled him towards the operating theatre.

Yesterday my bro and I told him that we will go with him but he said it’s early 7.30am and we won’t be allowed inside, so don’t have to come.

But I decided that I want to be there for him. Even if for a short well. I don’t want him to go through the waiting himself. He worries a lot and he’s anxious and even though he says we don’t have to go, I just feel that it made him better.

And I’m glad my brother found time from his work to come too. If not I’ll probably be choking back my tears. I’m more emotional than rational when it cames to family + health

The nurse brought us in and briefed us that the surgery would be 15-16 hours. And I had a shock because previously the doctor said 8-10hours which is really long and I’m really worried because my dad is 77 yo.

It’s a complicated surgery and I broke down and cried buckets when the 3rd test result came back that is cancer and he has to do the complicated Whipple operation. I could no longer tell myself it’s a mass but it might not be cancer.

I hate how the waiting room for the surgery seems familiar. Because my dad also went for a major liver and lung operation over the last 8 years.

I hate how he has been to L2 and knows that family members can’t go in (that’s why he thought we can’t go in either - I’m glad we were there for him)

I hate how he knows the tests and checks that the nurses are doing because he has went through it so many times.

My heart ached so much. Why is this happening to him. He has been diligently doing his blood tests and scans, going for all check ups, lab tests, endoscopes. Over the years, he also did chemotherapy, short day surgeries and multiple rounds of scopes everytime something is detected.

But why is there now another cancer. Why are you doing this to my poor father. Then I thought, could it be that Heaven pities him and allowed his situation to be detected early?

He actually raised the symptoms he has been facing to all the different department doctors ( lungs, lymph node, intestine, live) but nobody could gave him an answer over the past 9 months.

We did multiple tests and scopes (all coming back negative) and nobody detected what’s wrong. And I wanted to believe that he was just overly concerned.

I broke down when the latest doc’s appointment from the liver department + scan said otherwise. There was no other way to remove the lump and because of the complicated spot it is at (between connecting organs), he has to go through the Whipple operation that is 8-10hours/ 15-16 hours. He took strengthening supplements 1 month before the operation and went for physiotherapy 2 weeks before and would also have to continue after his operation.

I lost my mum when I was 16, and I can’t imagine losing him to cancer too.

I prayed so hard(and will continue to do so), I went to the temple this time remembering to get him an amulet. (I go to the temple every month since 8 years ago to pray for his health when he first has liver cancer - it felt comforting to know there are celestial beings watching over him)

Even as I hooked his arm to the hospital, he was still telling me about work staff, where he left the polymailers and packaging etc🥹

Health is too precious, too fragile. Please if you are reading this, let your loved ones know you love them, that you are there for them. Work can be done later, money can be earned back. But health waits for no one.

I can’t wait for my dad to recover and I’ll bring him to JB again to eat with whatever he wants to try from johor khaki 💕