'When are you going to have another?'

I get asked this question ALOT lately. Is it because i'm about to hit the big 3? Is it because my kid just turned 2? I don't know what I want honestly. It is already pretty overwhelming with 1 kid and I am savouring the intimate moments I have with R. The thought of a second kid is not something that I ponder about often since my husband and I like to take things naturally (also how I conceived R).

Honestly speaking, in the beginning before R was born, I would like to have another child when R turns 2 or 3 but that was when I didn't know the true struggles of motherhood yet, the sleep deprivation, the endless tantrums, the health issues etc. My husband and I are kinda liking the idea of just having 1, but that would also mean R may be lonely growing up alone. With family dynamics shrinking, I really hope she will find amazing, reliable friends later in life.

Is it family pressure? Is it fomo? Just because everyone is having more than 1 should I also do it too? Am i being selfish because I may only want 1? What will happen to R when me and my husband are old and sickly? Will she carry the heaviness on her shoulders all alone? My husband thinks I overthink too much, too far but there is a possibility right?

I would ask my friends or colleagues who grew up as a single child, more than half of them wished they had someone who could relate to them growing up but said it wouldn't bother them now that they have their own friends and family. I love kids and it used to be 'the more the merrier', I wanted 4. Reality check, financially raising 4 kids is crazy, at least in my opinion, combined income of $30k to 40k would be ideal to raising 4 kids with quality. They can have their enrichments, fun parties, music lessons, good food or what not, endless possibilities and I can pamper myself too, what a dream (fat hope! 🤣).

Where we're at now, 1 or 2 kids is ideal and comfortable for us. 1 or 2 doesn't matter, if it comes it comes, if not I guess we are fine with that too. I just gotta take care of my health first, be kinder to myself and let the future take care of itself.

🤍🩷

#RealTalk #parenting #fomo #healthfirst #WhyILemon8 #rants