Midlife awakening, not midlife crisis

On 13th July, I watched a YouTube video about a middle-aged man who chose to quit his career as a doctor and decided to live in the mountains for a bit (if I didn’t recall wrongly).

There was a comment that stood out to me:

“This doesn’t sound like a midlife crisis. Sounds like a midlife awakening. Good for you putting yourself first”.

For some reason, I really like the way the person phrased the transition as a midlife awakening rather than the common term we frequently used (i.e. midlife crisis) and I screenshotted it.

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The term "midlife crisis" often carries a negative connotation, suggesting a period of emotional turmoil, instability, and poor decision-making. It evokes images of people making drastic changes out of desperation, trying to reclaim lost youth or make up for perceived failures. It elicits feelings of regret, the thoughts of “what-ifs”, but we can never change the past.

However, the idea of a "midlife awakening" paints a different picture. It suggests a period of self-discovery, growth, and intentional change. An awakening implies a realization of one's true desires and priorities, which leads one to be closer to one’s authentic self.

In this doctor’s case, leaving a successful career to live in the mountains might seem drastic, but it's a conscious choice driven by a deeper understanding of what he needs to feel fulfilled and happy.

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Not just the doctor, but I have seen many people start to question the meaning of their lives (and start to make drastic changes). Myself included.

How often have we paused and asked ourselves, what do we really want in life?

Are we just swinging by life, just because everyone else is doing the same?

For a great deal of my life, I was just following suit, like a sheep in a herd. Going to kindergarten, primary school, secondary school, junior college, university etc. But why am I doing all that? Just to get a job like everyone else. And start a family like everyone else. And own a house and spend my remaining years paying off debt, like everyone else. And eventually retire, just like everyone else.

But is that what I truly want to live? Is that how you truly want to live your life?

Everyone has different answers, there is no right or wrong answer.

You just have to write your true answer on the worksheet called life.

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In our society, the pressure to follow a conventional path can be overwhelming. We're often encouraged to pursue stability, success, and material wealth, sometimes at the expense of our own well-being and happiness. However, moments of awakening remind us that it's never too late to make changes that lead to a more meaningful and satisfying life.

This reframing of “awakening” instead of “crisis” can have a profound impact on how we view and approach significant life changes. Instead of seeing them as crises to be managed or endured, we can see them as opportunities for growth and renewal. It's a shift from a reactive to a proactive mindset, where the focus is on creating a life that reflects our true values and passions.

Reflecting on this, I realized that we all have the potential for midlife awakenings, regardless of our age or circumstances. These moments of clarity and purpose can come at any time, prompting us to reassess our lives and make changes that bring us closer to our true selves.

You might never have midlife awakenings, and that might be a good thing for you, because you are clear on what you want out in life.

But when you do have that midlife awakening moment, understand that it can feel scary initially. Often, just like the word “awakening”, it’s a wake-up call. At the end of the day, you have to make the decision whether to pick up the call or not. And you might need more than a little bit of courage to choose to take up the call. Regardless, the key is to embrace these opportunities with an open mind and a willing heart, recognizing that our own happiness and fulfillment are worth pursuing.

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I am suddenly reminded by the main character of Kaiju No. 8 (or Monster #8 ), Kafka Hibino. He is a 32-year-old man with dreams of joining the Defense Force to fight alongside his childhood friend Mina Ashiro. He gave up on his dream after past failed attempts to join the Defense Force and started working in a kaiju disposal company as a cleaner. He gains the ability to turn into a kaiju after a small, parasitic creature enters his body through his mouth. He then regained the confidence to pursue his dreams, once again. Deep down, he never gave up on his dreams.

Kafka's predicament in the series was partly inspired by the author's career struggles in creating manga. He hasn't had a successful manga series after decades of drawing manga but he never gave up, and I believe it was one of the first times Shonen Jump had a middle-aged guy as a main character (and turned out to be popular).

Know that it’s never too late even when you are in your midlife.

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I have always mentioned that we own our own lives, and that we should be living our own lives for ourselves and not for other people. It’s a very simple fact but often very difficult to achieve, but still, we should try our very best to live for ourselves.

Living authentically means listening to your inner voice and having the courage to follow where it leads, even if that means stepping away from the familiar and comfortable. It's about aligning your life with your true passions and values, creating a reality that feels deeply meaningful.

So, if you find yourself standing at the crossroads of a midlife awakening, remember that it’s not a crisis to be feared, but a profound opportunity to redefine your life on your own terms. Embrace the journey with confidence and an open heart, knowing that the path to true happiness often begins with a single, courageous step.

Uncertainty can often feel scary but at the same time it brings with itself a set of pleasant surprises.

Your future is a different present. (pun intended) Slowly unwrap it.

Each decision you make now can shape it into a more fulfilling and authentic version of your life.

Thanks for reading and looking forward to seeing a different you.

Arigatougamxiamida.

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