How am I now?

Hey Zesties 🍋

Its been 4 months ++ since my last relationship ended and if you followed me on tiktok or Instagram you would have known how badly the breakup affected me, so how have I been?

Lets talk about the things Ive been and started doing during my healing journey (till now)

1️⃣ Being comfortable with yourself

Ive never imagine myself eating alone in a restaurant or in public but here I am, now enjoying every moment of alone time I have. Yes it does get lonely at times but I always remind myself that its okay being alone than being with people who makes u feel lonely. Only you know the way you wanna be love so let yourself be the one that gives you the most love 🫂 don laugh; I’d just give myself hug out of nowhere when I feel lonely

2️⃣ doing the inner work

Things like understanding yourself; the type of behaviour or triggers that would send you into your panic mode is really important, learning how to control and identify when it comes. Validate your emotions and feelings , journal them down and take accountability of what and where went wrong - we tend to either push blame or take all blame but we need to understand when things between 2 person doesnt work out, it takes both hands to clap. Practice “I am PARTLY wrong” instead of “its all my fault/ its all his/her fault” Never victimised yourself by going around telling others its their fault or lie about the story- u are embarrassing yourself

3️⃣ Reading

I pick up on reading ever since the relationship was broken, I find it calming to read whenever my brain starts to get overactive. Reading has helped me alot to better understand myself and others in different situations

4️⃣ I travelled more now

Travelling is my getaway from any sadness, After my break up I spent 1 month in Chiang Mai to heal myself, after coming back to SG I find myself constantly leaving the county. One of my proudest moment after the break up is that I FINALLY did a solo traveling where I planned out all the place I wanted to go in KL and being independent 🥹

5️⃣ I started going for more workshops

Learning new things/skills everyday keeps me motivated, it gives me a sense of accomplishment and im so proud of myself

6️⃣ I finally tick off my hobby bucket list

Crocheting seems really hard so I always procrastinate to start but here I am finally starting on it hehe (Its still quite confusing but hey, I made the first step)

7️⃣ Learning new instruments

Say less.. same as crocheting ~ procrastination lvl to the max but I manage to film myself singing to ukulele and guitar (not bad not bad)

8️⃣ I got back into painting

Im usually more confident in acrylic painting and tend to avoid watercolours paint but you cant avoid forever. Painting allows me to calm down too even tho its time consuming, some people might think this kind of slow paced activity would make u think more sad stuff but thats the way u should heal! Sit there , think of it, feel it and process the feelings 🤍 live in the present and feel the hurt , allow and give yourself some grace after!! You can do it 🤍

9️⃣ Exercise

Okay guilty, I did exercise but recently I cut down alot already but heyyyy Ive never imagined myself in a gym, and now its a place where I get to hang out with my gym buddies! That includes cycling/ swimming / running/ taking a stroll~

1️⃣0️⃣ Pottery painting

This is the same as attending workshops and getting back into painting ~ I just wanted to show my first pottery art hehe , its harder than I thought damnn.. but the point of this is to push yourself to do things u never thought you would do ✨

1️⃣1️⃣ gotta earn the extra bucks

Trust me besides internship, I’ve never work my whole life. My only source of income is through cosplaying, yes im still actively seeking for a FT job and yes I have some savings. (Wa u see the Financial advisor/ insurance ppl want come talk to me alr)

Meanwhile I also started to push myself to take on part time gigs and events related stuff to fill up my time

1️⃣2️⃣ Going on dates again?

Yes I did went on a 1-2 dates, the dates were really nice but probably because I just got out of a r/s it seems like I already know what type of qualities and values I look for in a person (?) If values/goal doesnt align I would just pass.. I don believe in wasting time, neither mine nor theirs.🙏🏻

Avoid the “it’s okay I can change him/her” mindset. You cant change someone if they doesnt want to ~

As for am I ready to date again? My answer is; when it comes it comes🤍 Im happy with myself and if someone brings values and inspire me along the way sure ~

Making this post makes me realise how far Ive come, from a hopeless romantic + anxious attachment style to someone independent probably still having anxious attachment style.. HAHAHA butttt with a right partner and more inner works I believe this will be compromised between both parties! I am amazed and proud of my own growth. Things that I never thought I would try, I did! and it made me feel so powerful. Its a blessing in disguise 🤍 🤍

To anyone with a broken heart right now, this shall pass too🫂

#breakuprecovery #healingjourney #breakup #RealTalk #growthmindset