What Healthy Arguments Look Like

Arguing is normal. But when you start attacking the other person, putting blame on them, calling names, talking down to them, disrespecting them, cursing at them, attacking their character etc… then it just turns into an unhealthy argument.

Here are 4 ways to have a healthy argument.

1. Don’t point fingers. Make I statements: “I feel like this when …. ”

2.Have a “speaker listener” conversation - 1 person speaks while the other listens. Then the other person repeats back what the 1st person said to make sure they understood what they were saying. (keep in mind - Be considerate and keep your statements short so they have time to remember what you’re saying and are able to repeat it back to you.)

3. Be patient- the other person may not understand and repeat back what you said correctly the 1st time.

4. Set a time to come back to the argument- if one person seems to be getting mentally exhausted, you have to end it right then or else you’ll get no where. Set a time and date to come back to the argument and finish the discussion when you’re both clear headed and rested.

Don’t give up. This type of skill takes time. You have to be patient with yourself and your partner. Make room for mistakes and forgiveness. This will help build a safe place for the both of you to have healthy arguments.

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