☕️Truths about Marriage: Family edition.

“I do.”👰🏻‍♀️🤵🏻

The two words that creates a ripple effect.

Marriage should always be between you and your partner, keyword being should. But more often than not, families come into the picture. Thus the saying, when you get married, you’re marrying your partner’s family as well. I beg to differ.

Let’s just put it this way, familial intervention often starts during the wedding planning stage and that’s your first obstacle as a couple. How you deal with things then, would more or less determine how you guys handle future issues. Learn to draw the line!

The start of your married life is also the beginning of challenges and tests. Decisions made before and after marriage changes drastically.

What used to be a simple ‘where shall we go for dinner on the weekends?’ turns into a ‘my parents asked us to go over for dinner this saturday.’. Some may say, I don’t see an issue with that. Trust me, it becomes an issue. Imagine working full-time, monday - friday (sometimes even on saturdays), and only having the weekends to rest at home and spend time with your other half. Then throughout the week, you get texts from both sides asking you to head home for dinner. You feel obligated to go over to your parents place, and your partner to his/her parents place. How do you guys decide?

Another great example, every family comes with their own set of… quirks (rephrased in a very polite way😂). Let’s be real, no family’s perfect. We’re all brought up differently, things you might be used to, seems hella weird to your partner. Truth be told, your partner should’ve been exposed to it on a certain level while you guys were dating BUT everything changes after marriage. They’re seen as family, or 自己人 (own people) in chinese. These ‘quirks’ start to reveal themselves and nothing prepares you for it.

So what’s the solution? Talking about it and not forgetting to prioritise each other, always. Yes family’s important, but not at the expense of your marriage. Not many would agree with me, but if you’re as lucky as I am to have found my person, it will all make sense.

The difficult part comes when you both can’t come to agreement. What happens next and what you do, will ALWAYS affect your relationship. So talk about it and compromise. It’s okay to not make it to every single family gathering but it’s not okay to make your partner feel insignificant.

Also, just putting it out there that you and your partner know what’s best for your relationship. No one, should butt in and tell you how to run your relationship. Neither should you involve an outsider with your issues. If you guys need help, go get couple’s therapy.

I could go on and on but I’m sure you guys get my point. And a fun fact: my father-in-law asked me to rat on my husband while he was gone. So obviously I did what no decent daughter-in-law would do, I said no and if he wanted to know, he can ask his son when he’s here. Imagine the horror on his face😂 I’m my husband’s ride or die so he really picked the wrong person🔥

Ahh yet another unconventional point of view which I’m sure many would frown upon. That’s okay, do whatever works for you, I’m just here to make some waves and remind people that your partner should be just as, if not more, important than your family❤️

#MyLemon8Diary #MyLemon8Journey #BeReal #RealTalk #marriage #marriageadvice #Couple #family