Falling from grace: graduation to unemployment

Since primary school, I’ve never been good at studies. I was bad at math, bad at science, and bad at everything except Chinese. Coming from a Chinese-speaking home, excelling in Chinese wasn’t difficult, but it wasn’t enough to raise my overall grades. By God’s grace, I managed to do okay on my O Levels and pursued my dream of studying interior design—or so I thought.

I didn’t do well enough to be accepted into the “prestigious” Temasek Poly Design School, so I applied to NAFA—and I got in. I thought it would be my time to shine, but I found myself struggling to manage my modules, excelling only in the non-core subjects. I graduated with a CGPA of 2.83, and somehow I secured a job without even applying for it. I didn’t particularly enjoy working there, but I liked the close-knit studio team, so I stayed. However, retrenchment came, and I was among the first to go. 📦

I found myself struggling to get jobs afterward, especially with the impending COVID and difficulties in maintaining employment. I struggled with toxic bosses and jobs that didn’t match their job descriptions, and I found myself going back to university, thinking that after securing my Bachelor’s, I would finally be able to get a job.

I struggled through my two years of university, but I gave it my all. I managed to graduate with First Class Honours, which I didn’t expect at all. I even received an award presented to me by the school president. I thought, finally, my life was going somewhere—but I was wrong. 😔

I applied for countless jobs, including at the government company where I completed my FYP, but I was rejected, even though my project remained with them.

A friend of mine, who had been working for many years, recommended a job for me as a marketing executive at her company. Though I had never had experience in marketing, the company seemed keen on my ability to provide aesthetic input, reduce costs by using my design skills instead of a creative agency, and even apply my 3D design skills to create trade marketing booths. However, it wasn’t as it seemed. I found myself bombarded by emails from multiple seniors and managers who were overseeing me, all delegating tasks. I couldn’t keep up. I tried my best, but I failed my probation, and I was relieved to leave because I couldn’t stand the toxic environment, filled with gossip and difficult managers.

Since then, I’ve been unemployed. I have tried so hard to apply for jobs, only to be rejected or ignored. I’m struggling to cope with my emotions; the job market is bad, and it’s not my fault. But how long can I keep using this excuse if the 2024 graduates are already securing jobs? How long do I have to wait before I finally have my time to shine? I haven’t stopped feeling useless since becoming unemployed, and my attempt at writing on Lemon8 is a way for me to practice while I can.

#RealTalk #unemployment