how to stop self-sabotaging

No one wants to admit that we sabotage ourselves, but we all do it to some degree. Everyone has done things that took them out of step with a goal that they’re trying to achieve or behaviour that they’re wanting to change. When you’re trying to create a change in your life, it’s helpful to look at what you can control, rather than what you can’t.

1. Notice your behavioural patterns with mindfulness. Being self-aware starts with mindfulness. By being truly present in the moment, you can start to understand your triggers and patterns. This awareness is crucial in catching yourself before slipping into unhelpful self-sabotaging habits.

2. Monitor your self-talk with positive affirmations. Challenge yourself and change your inner critic. Whenever your inner voice criticizes you, check the messages it’s giving you and create a new narrative for yourself. Build a habit of repeating empowering statements to yourself, like turning “I can’t” into “I absolutely can”. Positive self talk is a skill worth learning, both for achieving your goal and also for your overall wellbeing.

3. Set achievable goals. Sometimes self-sabotage gets perpetuated by feelings that you can’t do anything right so you might as well continue sabotaging yourself. In these moments it’s important to keep building up your self-esteem and self-confidence and this can be done by setting smaller, achievable goals. As you watch yourself achieve these smaller goals, you’ll feel like you actually can accomplish what you set your mind to and your confidence will increase.

4. Support your mental and physical health with helpful habits. Your daily habits matter. Your body and mind are interconnected. By nurturing your physical health through regular exercise, a healthy diet and getting a good night’s sleep — you’re supporting your mental wellbeing.

5. Practice self-compassion. Treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding as you would a close friend. Remember, everyone has their setbacks. So instead of getting caught up in negative self talk, it’s important to acknowledge what has gone wrong and learn from it to move forward.

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