I started work at 13yo.. financial anxiety

I’ve been contemplating for a while about starting a Lemon8 diary, but my friend encouraged me to share my story here, especially because of Lemon8’s loving and kind community. So, for my first post, I’m diving into something very personal—my anxiety disorder. What I’m going to share is solely my own story and my opinion, which does not represent everyone here or all that I know. 🍋

I’m not sure how familiar you are with this term Anxiety, but as I step into my 30s, I realize it is actually very common. After I started being a little more open about my experience, people around me began sharing theirs with me too. That’s when it hit me—oh, people are actually experiencing this more than I thought.

I want to share my life story, and what I’m about to say is not meant to boast about anything or to bring anybody down or offend anyone. It’s just a genuine sharing in a safe space. I came from a slightly below-average family, but I have a loving family—my parents and two elder brothers. My parents worked very hard to make sure the three of us were well-fed and had enough. I wore second (or maybe even third) hand uniforms for school and used textbooks passed down from seniors (even though some were slightly different from the latest syllabus). I know my parents worked very hard to earn money, so I didn’t ask for much. I didn’t have toys, I didn’t eat fast food, or even ice cream for snacks. I received $1 for my allowance in primary school, but I spent $0.50 on food (or sometimes I brought bread from home) and saved the rest. I even bought snacks from mama shops and sold them in class secretly to my classmates between classes, just so I could earn a few cents more to save up. I started working at 13 years old (I know it’s young, but I think it was legal at that time; I’m not sure, lol. I helped to paste price tags on products for a shop). I also worked from my secondary school days through university as a sales assistant in mobile shops, helping people apply screen protectors, cooking waffles, washing dishes, scooping ice cream, and tutoring, the list goes on. Meanwhile, I tried my best to excel in my studies; from Normal Academic in secondary school, I managed to enter NTU (a local university).

That said, my parents NEVER asked me to work, nor did they EVER expect me to study hard and do well academically. But I’m not sure why, I felt the need to save more money and to succeed in life to earn more money. I put pressure on myself, and since secondary school, doctors have always told my mom that I’m too stressed, which causes me stomachaches. I was too young to understand what they meant, but even today, I am still figuring out why I was the way I was. Was it a certain childhood trauma that I unknowingly experienced?

Recently I learned the term “financial scarcity mindset”, and I realized it describes me perfectly (please refer to the second photo for its possible characteristics and let me know if you’re also experiencing it!). My husband has always known about this and constantly reminds me of how well I’m doing and how lucky I am compared to my peers. Honestly, I know I’m doing way better than the majority of my peers in terms of my income, my savings, and my overall financial knowledge (thanks to my mindset since young, whether it’s a good or bad thing!). However, I still can’t help but struggle to shift my mindset to live a less stressful life. All these constant worries and stress have, of course, caused me to experience anxiety every other day, especially at night before I go to bed. Everything just runs through my mind, it’s so overwhelming, making me stressed, nervous, and causing me to experience heart palpitations.

As I mentioned in the beginning, people around me started sharing their anxiety with me. Most of them experience sudden panic attacks for different reasons (or sometimes no reason at all). One friend shared her anxiety due to health issues, another due to career stress, and a third due to relationship troubles. They asked me how I cope.

If you or any friends you know are experiencing anxiety (whether mild or serious), please understand that different people handle stress differently. I can manage my emotions from stress quite well. I would say I’m an emotionally strong person, maybe due to my years of experience in handling anxiety (though that might not be a good thing, as I’ve never learned to process my feelings properly). However, some people with anxiety might feel extremely overwhelmed. The heart palpitations can make them want to call an ambulance because they feel like their hearts are jumping out of their chests—yes, my friend did that. If any of them are experiencing this and are unsure what to do, I encourage them to visit a therapist. Visiting a therapist does not mean you’re mentally ill. it’s not that era anymore! Go with an open mind to learn how to handle your emotions better, and you might come out a happier person! I didn’t go for therapy (because of my financial scarcity mindset, but I’m working on it), but my partner did. After each session, he tends to share with me useful tips, and I’m thankful for his sharing.🩷

Another thing that might be causing us anxiety is… social media—this is, in my opinion, one of the greatest platforms that gives people anxiety. Depending on the focus of your current stage of life, social media can normalize things that are not normal. In your 20s, it might be beauty and relationships; in your 30s, it might shift to finances, housing, and marriage. Social media makes it seem “normal” for girls to look skinny, wear makeup and long lashes, have nail extensions, be married by a certain age, travel often, own branded bags, or drive luxury cars by a certain age. If you don’t meet these standards, you may be deemed “not pretty” or “unsuccessful.”

We need to understand that social media is a facade. People choose to post only the nice things because they are insecure about their bad habits, toxic relationships, debt incurred to buy luxury items, or the time they sacrifice with loved ones to earn extra income.

We must remember that everyone has different goals in life, and we don’t have to be influenced by others and follow blindly “just because.” We don’t always have to listen to other people’s advice because, honestly, we are all living life for the FIRST time. Can anyone truly say they know how to live better than someone else when we are all navigating this for the first time? And how “better” is defined can differ from one person to another.

All in all, what I want to say is that in today’s society, it is very common for people to have unhealthy mental health (or even be unaware of it), and it is not okay to neglect it. You are NOT ALONE! It took me long enough to finally see that it is a problem because it is taking a toll on my body. Experiencing so many health problems due to my anxiety disorder (or stress, as you may call it) while entering my 30s is not what I want to celebrate in this new stage of life. Moving forward, I want to put this out here to hold myself accountable, as well as to everyone else facing this problem, that I want to prioritize myself, love myself, focus more on wellness, adopt a better lifestyle, and, most importantly, PRACTICE GRATITUDE every single day. 🙏🏻

If you also have anxiety, or have tips on managing it, please share your story with me too!

#mindfulness #RealTalk #anxiety #GirlTalk #WhyILemon8