This one tip can prevent SO MANY RS fights

Hey heyyyy

Recently I realised that my bf and I don’t argue as much as we used to, which got me thinking abt how we ended up in this state HAHA

❤️❤️❤️—— PART 1 of the RS series

I am a strong believer of “you don’t find love, love finds you.” With that said, as someone in a happy RS, I think there are some things people can do to put themselves in a situation where love can actually find them!!

So, this is the first post in the RS series, a string of posts dedicated to love advice for those who are single and/or attached :)))

❤️❤️❤️——-

Let’s be real. All relationships can and will face challenges along the way!! In fact, if you NEVER fight, I would say you guys have not yet reached that level of emotional intimacy to feel comfortable enough to disagree with each other from time to time.

The most important part is, how you handle the situation and come out the other side :)))

Before I give the ULTIMATE secret to solving most of your future problems, here are some achievable things you can do/look out for from now on!! (Kinda like stepping stones)

💭👀 Reflect and Identify the patterns in the root cause

Why exactly did you guys start fighting? What was the MAIN thing that caused it?

Notice how I do not ask you to think about whose fault it is?? Because the main intention you should have is not about whose fault it was but rather, how both you and your partner can tackle the issue TOGETHER!!!

For my bf and I, we realised that a lot of our arguments stemmed from the fact that we did not have enough time to spend together, both online and face to face.

🗣 Reflect and Identify the patterns in your behaviour

I want you to think about how you and your partner behaved before, during and after the argument. Take note of the things you both normally say when arguing, which parts you like and which parts you want to change.

For example, my partner pointed out that I tend to defend myself a lot whenever I seem to be at fault. My partner preferred it if I listen to what he has to say and apologise for how I made him feel first, before defending myself at another time.

Knowing this reallt helped me be aware of my own behaviours that I do not do conciously. So yes, have that open discussion with your partner and figure out how you can both be better for each other :))

🌖🌗🌘🌑 Adapt and make changes

After a few arguments and kind of guaging your patterns, you can make the necassary changes in your response and reaction to certain things during an argument.

Using my example from earlier, I became more self aware of my immediate defensive behaviour when arguing. So nowadays, I listen more and apologise when appropriate. If I want to still defend myself, I give it some time before explaining my pov to my partner.

This leads me to my ultimate tip for avoiding unnecessary arguments….

✨✨✨ sleep over it FIRST before bringing it up!!!

I have to give a disclaimer. This doesn’t apply to ALL situations, only MOST.

Basically, whenever you feel very very strongly about something, be it angry, sad, or frustrated, keep it to yourself for a day or two first (unless it is really time-sensitive of course).

Sleep over it. If you reallt need to get it out your system, send a long message to yourself addressing the whole thing. As in make a draft message you wanna send your partner but send it to yourself FIRST.

The next day, or when you feel less strongly about it, read that message again. If it still hits the same way, go ahead and send it to your partner.

9 times out of 10, in my own experiences, I never end up sending those long messages to my partner. I always kind of cringe at myself at how much I blew up such a small thing.

Another bonus tip will be to not take things TOO personally, especially if you know your partner tends to have a slightly meaner tone when their angry. Again, this is something you have to gauge for yourself. Do not put up w disrespectful behaviour too okay!!!

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Hope you found this advice useful :)) stay happy in love, and if your partner doesn’t want to have these conversations with you, or says you’re being too deep about it, FIND SOMEONE WHO IS WILLING to be emotionally close with you!!! Having a good understanding of each other takes a lot of time and effort.

Click here for part 2 of the series :)

STAY IN LOVE BBYS ❤️

#summerdiary #GirlTalk #RealTalk #loveadvice #arguments