Help them by asking the right questions!

When my toddler throws a tantrum, I try to remind myself that he’s not doing it to misbehave. He’s usually frustrated because he can’t fully express what he wants or how he feels. It sucks to feel misunderstood all the time, and I know that frustration can easily build up. Instead of seeing his outbursts as bad behaviour, I’ve learned to approach them as opportunities to guide him through those big feelings. Here’s what I do to help him communicate and regulate his emotions better.

1. Ask Open-Ended Questions

Instead of asking simple yes/no questions, I focus on open-ended ones that let him express more about his day. I’ll say:

❣️“What did you do at the park today?”

❣️“What was your favourite thing about playing with your friends?”

Why: This helps him to talk about his experience and reflect on it in his own words.

2. Encourage Him to Think Ahead

During playtime, I ask questions that make him think about what might happen next. I say:

❣️“What do you think will happen if we pour water on the sand?”

❣️“What will happen if we add another block to the tower?”

Why: This helps him engage in problem-solving and makes him proud when his predictions come true.

3. Help Him Name His Emotions

When he’s upset, instead of just asking why he’s crying, I help him label his emotions. I say:

❣️“Are you sad because we had to leave the playground?”

❣️“Are you happy we’re going to Grandma’s house?”

Why: By doing this, I’m teaching him to recognise and name his feelings, which makes it easier for him to express himself.

4. Reflect on Past Situations

Once he’s calm after a difficult moment, we talk about what happened. I ask:

❣️“What can we do next time when you want a toy but someone else is playing with it?”

❣️“Remember when you shared your toy? How did that make you feel?”

Why: Reflecting on these moments helps him understand his emotions and teaches him different ways to handle similar situations in the future.

5. Use Stories to Build Empathy

While reading or watching shows, I try to connect his feelings with the characters. I’ll ask:

❣️“How do you think the dog feels when he loses his ball?”

❣️“What could we do to help the bear when he’s sad?”

Why: This helps him learn to empathise with others and recognise how actions affect feelings.

I’ve learned that helping my toddler communicate isn’t about avoiding tantrums or frustrations completely. It’s about guiding him through those moments with patience and thoughtful questions. By doing so, I’m teaching him how to express himself, understand his emotions, and relate to the feelings of others. It’s a slow process, but every small step makes a big difference.

#ParentingTips #EmotionalIntelligence #ToddlerLife #GentleParenting #PositiveParenting