I closed BOTH eyes to these RED FLAGS 🚩🙈

⚠️ DISCLAIMER: despite these red flags, there were still good times in my past relationships! I learnt a lot and they’ve made me who I am today (: I also didn’t drop my relationships just bc of red flags. I tried to work through them with my exes bc everyone deserves a chance!!

🚩 Starting off as a situationship/didn’t like me at the start

- can lay the foundation of how your partner will be treating you for a good portion of the relationship, especially when it’s just started

- Why be in a relationship where you pretty much forced the guy to be with you?? 🥲 it won’t amount to anything good. I ended up making myself lesser just so that my ex would like me more.

- Ofc can’t say this will happen for ALL relationships that start out like this but I feel it would likely be the case since the mindset is already there.

🚩 Controlling with what I wore

- I was in a relationship where my ex would always say my clothes were too tight or short, even before we officially got together

- Of course I literally changed my whole wardrobe for him 🤪 took me a while to gain confidence again in my own skin and wear clothes I actually liked!! In fact, I still think about whether a piece is modest enough before buying it.

- Can trickle into other areas of life also like controlling the way you behave, your schedule, etc. Once I was scolded for being just 3mins late. All because I wasn’t already down by the carpark BEFORE my ex arrived to pick me up.

🚩 Dysfunctional family/family issues

- As much as I want to think of my partners as individuals, independent to their parent(s), their parents’ habits and way of dealing with things still overflows into how my then partners dealt with issues.

- This negatively affected our relationships especially when getting into arguments. Arguments could NEVER be solved in a calm and mature manner.

- These relationships also brought out the WORST in me, parts of myself I had never seen before… it was all around unhealthy.

- edit: This is only a red flag if my partners aren’t able to recognise the unhealthy behaviours they have and change even after we talk about it.

If you’ve read this post and at any point of time thought “omg I’m going through the same thing”, gworl… my heart goes out to you and I hope you will be able to work through these issues between you and your partner!! If not, you know what to do… 🫥

#storytime #MyFreeTime #RealTalk #GirlTalk #relationshipadvice #Adulting101 #AdultingWoes