Major Depressive Episodes - What I’ve learned

Every year I go through a major depressive episode that starts in the fall. From help with my psychotherapist we have been able to narrow down how to combat the negative causes of depression. I have a list of 4 pages long on things that I enjoy doing. I wrote all of these pages while I was in the best headspace and without being in a depressive state. That way, I’m able to go through the lists trying anything and everything to find something that can take my mind off everything.

Two biggest things I’ve noticed are moderate energy days and low energy days. Days where I have moderate energy I am more able to nurture myself in different ways. Days where I have low energy I see this as my rest state. It’s when my body and mind can’t keep up with daily tasks or feel motivated to do anything. What happens during this stage is important. Instead of spending energy in making playlists, watching new shows, and doing new things, I invest the little energy I have into rest and support for myself. I am one of those people who feels guilty after resting, or guilty for waking up late. I am trying to unlearn this train of thought. Rest is important. You are worthy of taking a break. The rest of the world will be here when you are ready.

Also, notable things that my therapist has told me that helps a lot is:

1. I’m not in the right condition to make major decisions.

This is important because I try anything and everything to help myself to feel better. Sometimes the things I say yes to are maladaptive and end up hurting myself in the long-run (shopping spree being my worst).

2. Don’t spend energy starting/creating, but relieve energy by doing tasks that require less of you.

Once this was said in my therapy session it really hit home. This was everything for me. I give so much energy to everything I do, so it’s okay to step back and give more of me to myself instead.

3. You can do things depressed and only give 2% that day. You’re still making progress.

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