Your Step-by-Step Guide to Better Self-Talk

Our inner dialogue matters. It effects our confidence, self-esteem, outward reality, and overall well-being. So, here’s your step-by-step guide to better self-talk.

PREFACE: Take the pressure off One thing no one will tell you about self-talk is that you WILL NOT manifest all of your negative thoughts. Yes, we play a huge part in creating our realities, but the voice in our heads is not the only thing that matters. This means that you don’t have to feel like if you have negative thoughts, your life will be bad. That’s not true. We as humans are constantly trying to keep ourselves safe, thus, the negative thoughts. We all have a plethora of negative thoughts a day, and if our thoughts were really THAT powerful, all of our lives would be absolutely awful 😂😩. So, I just wanted to preface the next few points with this because the pressure to be perfect makes things even harder.

1: Awareness

The first step in mastering positive self-talk is becoming aware of your inner dialogue. Pay attention to moments when you’re self-critical or overly harsh on yourself. Note the specific thoughts and patterns that emerge during these times. Sometimes we don’t even notice the things we’re saying to ourselves, so making this shift is crucial for all else that follows.

2: Challenge what you notice Once you’ve noticed the negative self-talk, challenge its validity. Ask yourself if these thoughts are based on facts or assumptions. Often, negative self-talk is rooted in unfounded beliefs. Replace self-criticism with constructive questions like, “Is this thought helpful or true?” If the answer is no, you can choose to lovingly let the thought go.

3: Reframe

Reframing negative thoughts looks like transforming them into positive or neutral statements. For example, if you catch yourself thinking, “I’ll never succeed”, reframe it to, “I’m working towards my goals, and every step counts.” This shift in perspective empowers you to view challenges as opportunities for growth.

4: Practice self-compassion

Remember when I mentioned lovingly letting the thoughts go? That’s self-compassion. Self- compassion is when you treat yourself with the same kindness and understanding you’d offer a friend. When you make a mistake, acknowledge it without harsh judgment. Offer yourself words of comfort, such as “It’s okay, mistakes are part of learning.”

5: Use affirmations

I’ve been saying the same affirmations every day for a year now and let me tell you…some of them? I don’t even need anymore, because I full believe them to be true now. Positive affirmations are powerful.

6: Be consistent

Mastering positive self-talk requires a consistent practice. Use these techniques in your daily routine, especially during moments of self-doubt or stress. Over time, your new mindset will become more natural and automatic.

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