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❓Have you ever stopped yourself from saying "no" or ignoring your boundaries for the sake of not seeming mean?
❓Have you ever put yourself in a situation you would have rather not been in because "being nice" was easier than saying how you truly felt?
🙋🏾♀️ i sure have.
As a former people pleaser my perception was something that was very important to me, and i never wanted anyone to percieve me as "mean". i didn't want my words to be misinterpreted and reflect badly on my character. I just wanted to be the nice girl that everyone liked.
💡One day I realized: That is unrealistic.
of course a lot of women have these behaviors for protection, but im speaking more of from a relational perspective. When it comes to platonic friends, new people we've met, mutuals, and even romantic interests.
Being nice rarely got me anywhere i wanted to be and honestly, niceness was fake. I always felt misunderstood, unappreciated, used, and just not myself.
My issue wasn't so much that I was "too nice", but i lacked proper communication skills, honesty, and wanting so desperately to control people's perception of me.
People pleasing and exercising niceness made me miserable. But i was the only one to blame.
This is not a call to be mean, rude, or irresponsibly blunt. ✨ This is a call to be kind instead! The 3rd slide tells you why ✨
let me give you some tips if you struggle with niceness and people-pleasing 👇🏾
•People appreciate honesty. niceness wont make them like you
• You can say how you truly feel without being mean
• How someone feels about your boundaries is not your problem
• You can only control other's perception of you so much. be yourself.
• Be okay with "seeming" mean
• Kindness is real, niceness isn't
• Get comfortable with saying No
💬 Anyone else struggled or struggling with people-pleasing? Do you think there is a difference between being kind and being nice?
#hellolemon8 #healthylifestyle2023 #advice #lifestylegoals2023 #blacklemon8creator #blackgirlcreator #springaesthetic