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As I first time mom, I am constantly amazed about how I get shamed almost every time I get interactions with people. Whether I know them (family/friends) or not (strangers in stores), I am just shocked about the amount of intimate questions & judgment I get. Here are some of the things I get shamed about:
1. I have to rock my baby to sleep
I don't know how other moms can simply put their baby down in their bassinet/crib and he will fall asleep on its own. I have to rock my baby to sleep every single time and then try to put him down. Most of the time, he will start crying hysterically so I have to pick him up again. A few days ago, my mom video called me on facetime and I was rocking my baby. She totally shamed me telling that I was spoiling him and that my life will be a nightmare if I don't stop rocking him to sleep. She told me that at 3 months old, he should be able to sleep on his own. I would love to be able to do that, but that's simply not what he needs.
2. I remove his cradle cap
All the moms I know don't remove their baby's cradle cap and are constantly shaming me for doing so. I can totally understand why a mom wouldn't do it but when I wasn't doing it, it was just spreading like crazy and started going down on his forehead. Also, it looks itchy and uncomfortable. I am happy I removed it though, it was a quick and easy process, and it never came back!
3. I formula feed
Ouch, this is a tough one. Every single person I saw after having my baby asked me "are you breastfeeding?". And when I say that I formula feed, I have to justify myself every single time. There are reasons I am not able to breastfeed, but even with that I am shamed a lot for this choice, most of the time because I am not giving him antibodies. My baby is 3mo and never got sick.
4. I had a planned c-section
So basically I had a choice: having a vaginal birth with high risk of complications or chose a planned c-section. Every time I say I had a c-section, people are sorry or look terrified. The answer I always get is "oh no I am so sorry" lol but I enjoyed my experience. Also, i went to the pharmacy in France to get a silicon gel for my scar, and the pharmacist asked me WHY I GOT A C-SECTION like why does it matter??? Is that a question to ask to customers? I am not sure. But she told me that I should have chosen the vaginal birth and end up with a c-section in case of an emergency (which was absolutely what I didn't want)
Do you also get mom shamed? Tell me about it!
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