soooo…. i wrote my ex a letter

Today marks a day after I wrote and delivered a letter to my ex. It was something I felt I had to do, not to try and rekindle anything, but to honestly express myself, clear the air, and close a chapter of my life. Writing that letter was a huge step of faith for me—it allowed me to be vulnerable, even though I wasn’t sure how it would be received.

Oddly enough, since writing it, my feelings have changed. I don’t feel the same way about the situation as I once did. Sending that letter gave me a sense of peace and clarity that I didn’t expect. I’m not holding onto the same hopes or emotions anymore. While part of me felt like I was being dramatic, I don’t regret it, because it was real and honest in that moment.

I had to give the letter to him while he was with his friends, so I don’t doubt that I got made fun of or that it might have been sent around. But that only shows their immaturity and inability to understand someone who is expressing their true feelings. Regardless of how they might respond, I know I did the right thing for me.

Now, it’s been a day, and I haven’t heard anything from him. As much as I hoped for some kind of response, it’s becoming clear to me that this might really be the end of our story. And honestly? That’s okay. I’ve done what I needed to do, and I’m leaving the rest in God’s hands.

It’s disappointing not to hear anything back, but I trust that God has a plan for me that’s so much bigger than this situation. I’m at peace with whatever comes next, even if it means moving forward without closure or answers. God has been helping me through this in ways I didn’t expect, and while this chapter might be over, I know He’s writing a new one for me.

Reflecting on this whole situation after sending the letter, I’ve realized that there really is more to life than this. I’m so full of life and love, and I’ve come to understand that I shouldn’t waste those gifts on someone who isn’t capable of appreciating them. I’ve been given so much to offer, and I’m not going to let it be diminished.

His lack of reflection, respect, and patience is all I needed to see to confirm I’ve made the right choice in walking away. Sometimes, silence speaks louder than any words ever could. I’ve said my peace; the ball is in his court now, and I’m no longer tied to waiting for his response or approval.

The way I was discarded and essentially replaced after our relationship ended is all the closure I should have needed. It was painful, but looking back, I can see it clearly now—that was my sign to move on. The treatment I received at the end was bad, and I’ve realized I deserve so much better than that. I deserve love, respect, and someone who values me for who I am.

I’ve also come to accept that he’s a fearful avoidant, who also denies that he needs help even though it’s obvious to those around him. He’s on a bad path right now, and that’s no longer my responsibility. I’m letting go of the idea that I can fix him or that I’m responsible for his growth. He didn’t even invite me to his birthday dinner a month before our relationship ended because he “thought I’d say no,” but deep down, I know he just didn’t want me there and didn’t like me. It’s painful, but I’m moving past that, too.

Ultimately, people will always judge you, so you might as well do what’s on your heart. Sending that letter was something I needed to do for my own closure and growth, and I’m glad I followed through with it. I’m learning to trust God, let go of what’s not meant for me, and move on to better things.

That being said, I do believe that if it’s meant to be, God can change anyone’s heart. If it’s in His will, maybe my ex will come around eventually, but I’m not waiting for that to happen. Until then, all I need is my family and God. I’ll keep living my life the right way, a non-destructive way, and trust that whatever is meant for me won’t pass me by.

#unfiltered #embracevulnerability #God #jesus #christian #ex #summerbod #lemon8bookclub #Lemon8Diary #fashionfinds