So Many Nights I've Cried

I started writing my series in 2014 after I had my son (He was born Oct 2014, story came to me in Nov 2014). I was also finishing my Masters Degree at the time. Newborns (at least in my opinion) are easy, given how content my son was virtually all the time.

The idea of the series hit me like a typhoon, even when I was awake, this world that sat in my mind felt real... tangible. For seven days, the story continued, almost like a repeat with additional footage at the end. I wanted to sleep more just to relive it as often as I could. After day 7, it stopped... but I knew how started... and how it was supposed to end. I also knew it would be at least 7 books and separated in two parts. I wrote the initial draft for book one in four days and outlined the entire series over the course of a week.

I had no clue how to market, too broke for an editor, my queries went unanswered, and I thought to myself... why the hell am I torturing myself? It immediately felt like an uphill battle and I never thought I'd be good enough. My cover changed several times...

I was told things like:

"Remove your author picture because "maybe" it would sell better if they didn't know the author was brown." Or

"black people don't read fantasy..." despite the fact that I loved it, or

"People don't want to read about mixed couples"

It was a struggle that I had to determine whether it was worth pursuing. No one would help me. And I cried so many nights, frustrated and pained. Few would give me any feedback to get better. ONE person took a chance on me and he genuinely made me believe I could do this, that the battle is worth fighting for.

I'm now on book number 5 in the series, working on several vellas that piece together with the book, have a MULTITUDE of other stories I'm working on, all while working full time with the hope to make the full leap one day. The struggle is still real. Reaching readers is hard because the story falls on a very fine line of fantasy and paranormal, with romance and the plot is INTRICATE. Not like difficult to understand but a lot of moving pieces. I could finally afford an editor, mostly, and she felt I should change a few things. Book split into two and now Part One is Four Books long and about a half million words with the most satisfying cliffhanger ending you'll read lol. Still working to get it in front of people, and slowly but surely good angel/demigod type stories that don't COMPLETELY surround Greek mythology is coming into popularity. I hope to be able to ride the wave.

I learned how to make a great cover, learning photoshop and illustrator, what platforms work, meta marketing, social media... Great at designing but marketing is still a toss up lol. But I'm further than I thought I'd be because ONE person believed in me. I'd never had that.

And the man who believed in me? His health has deteriorated terribly 😔 I pray that I can prove to him that what he saw in me wasn't crazy... that others see what he saw. He hopes that before he dies, he can see me get to where he believes I should be. It may feel like a heavy burden, but I've never been more determined to make this work in my life.

Support your people, even if it's just a share or like... I had no one at the time support my dream and it made me feel super alone. But some of the greatest success stories in history are because someone took a chance on them.Be that someone!

#embracevulnerability #Lemon8Diary #indieauthor #bipocauthor