read this if you have trust issues

it can be challenging to build trust in a new relationship, especially if you are coming from a relationship where trust was not present. as time goes on, trust can be built, but there are ways to increase trust regardless of how long you’ve been with your person.

➡️ ask for help

asking for help gives your partner a chance to show up for you in the ways that you need them. the more often they show up, the more you’ll trust that they’ll continue to show up.

➡️ be honest… even when it hurts

of course, honesty is a vital part of building trust, but it can feel scary to be honest at the beginning of a relationship. it can sometimes feel easier to keep the peace than to be honest about how you are feeling. but honesty is always the best policy. tell your partner when something bothers you. tell them when they hurt your feelings.

➡️ create a safe space

in order for honesty to be present, you have to create a safe space within your relationship. when your partner tells you about something they did that hurt your feelings, you can’t snap back at them and get defensive. when you do that, they close up and will be less likely to open up next time.

instead, do your best to react with grace and try to understand where they are coming from. actively listen when they talk and actively create opportunities for them to open up.

➡️ set clear boundaries

creating clear boundaries may seem like the opposite of creating a safe space, but it actually helps everyone to better understand what the expectations are in the relationship and what the consequences are when those expectations aren’t met. following through with those boundaries helps to create consistency within your relationship, thus building trust.

one important point is that you alone cannot build trust. if you are with someone who constantly makes you feel insecure, who steps all over your boundaries, and who creates an unsafe feeling in your relationship… you cannot fix that on your own! if you feel safe doing so, bring these feelings up to your partner and begin working on building trust with them.

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