Things I wish someone told me before marriage 💍🤔

I personally felt that during #marriageprep , I was mostly given advice/read articles on planning a proposal, a wedding, buying a house, settling reno and how to live together. I was also advised to have alignment talks about finance, kids, values, or goals with my then fiancé.

While all of these are extremely useful in preparing me for married life, there are more things I learned after being married that I wish someone had told me. I am writing a #GirlTalk specifically to all the ladies - no matter what type of wife you choose to be. ✨

🧡 Change is the only constant

I learned that no matter what we agreed on before marriage, things change as we grow. Goals and priorities may shift drastically and the more important talk to have before marriage is how to manage change as a couple. 👩‍❤️‍👨

It’s not easy- but for my husband & I, we make sure that we communicate our new aspirations clearly, why we want to do it, how it will affect us and how we can find something close to a middle ground. We always remind ourselves that the most important thing for us is that we are together and we are happy.

🧡 You are not just marrying him, you are marrying his family.

His family may great to you when you were his girlfriend, and if you are lucky, it should be the same after you get married. However, most of the time, their expectations of you as a daughter-in-law vs a girlfriend are vastly different. You are now family and well, let’s just say sometimes people treat acquaintances better than they treat their family.

Make sure that you always stand your ground while trying to remain politically correct and I personally try to avoid conflict. Also, be sure to discuss how to manage the family with your partner- you don’t want to start resenting him for not standing up for you to his parents.

🧡 You are still your own person

Work together with your husband but don’t start thinking that both of you are one person. You should still make your own decision and do things for yourself. Want to go for that solo trip? Do it! Want to hang out with your friends? Do it! While we are prone to think for our partner and family, we should also think for ourselves because no one else is gonna think for us.

🧡 Don’t leave everything to your husband

Your partner may be more savvy with insurance policies, finance related matters or more complicated matters regarding the house, but I highly encourage you to at least know the basics- what policies you have, what investments are there, who is the agent to contact, or who to call when you need help.

As much as we hate #adulting , life happens and you should know what to do when your husband isn’t around.

Some of these may seem like it’s common sense, but I had to really internalise them when things happened. I hope these points make good reminders or just help you prepare for married life better. 🥹

While marriage be beautiful and exciting, it can also quickly turn bitter as life gets in the way and resentment start. So don’t take things for granted and always put your best in it. 🧡🧡

#RelationshipAdvice #relationship #marriage #marriedlife #coupleadvice #coupleideas #couplegoals