A telling red flag in a relationship 🚩🚩

A friend’s recent breakup from a toxic relationship got me reflecting on the evident red flags in any type of relationship we have—whether with lovers, friends, or family.

Being aware of these signs is important, but they’re often hard to detect. My friend’s realisation that the relationship had gradually become toxic stemmed from the thousands of text messages beginning with “You always” from their former partner.

“You always don’t take out the trash.” “You always don’t listen to me.” Sometimes, we use "you always" without realising its impact. But why are these statements so hurtful?

I’ve had my fair share of "you always" statements directed at me, and they immediately put me on the defensive. I find myself recalling all the times I actually did the action, ready to counter. It’s extremely unproductive when trying to have a civil conversation. These statements paint the person as the problem instead of addressing the situation, making healthy communication difficult.

This realisation made me reflect on whether I was using these statements myself, so I went through my texts to check. It could be a subconscious habit (thankfully, there were none—phew).

However, it’s easy to get caught up in the moment, so here’s a litmus test for you: When you feel the urge to use a "you always" statement, pause. Ask yourself: Is this helping or harming the connection?

By shifting your language, you can create a more supportive and understanding relationship. Your words have power. Use them to build up, not tear down.

#GirlTalk #RealTalk #SocialDiscussion #toxicrelationship #toxicpeople #reflection #selfreminder #selfreminder