I hit my goal weight…then gained it all back

Everyone’s fear right??? Well, it is and it’s not. If you check my before photos, and look at my afters, not much has changed. A bit of bloating (from my period) and the inches on my hips. Honestly I was happy with the way I looked, I’ve been prioritizing my protein intake, and not restricting. Plus I got into a relationship and what they say about relationship weight is SO REAL. I started hot yoga along with my lifting sessions, and hockey and it’s been great for my mental health… so why does the number matter so much???

In the first two photos I was 135 for maybe a couple days. I worked from January - June to drop from 150 to 135. But I was also unhappy and in a on again off again situationship that was constantly sending me over the edge. My current boyfriend had to get rid of my scale because every pound back was the make or break of my day. Now two months without it, I had to get weighed for intake forms for an unrelated injury, and I saw 150 again. Immediately I was reeling…still am two weeks later. I worked so hard to get to that size but in the end I don’t think it made a difference. I am in a healthy range at both sizes, and dysmorphia fucks with me either way, so why does my worth depend on a shitty number.

#Lemon8Diary #embracevulnerability #unaesthetic #weight #storytime #rant #losingweight #bodyshape