❤️‍🔥 Charming boys

It’s always so humbling to be rejected isn’t it? God knows just when to put me in my place.

I have a thing for bad boys, so they say 男人不坏，女人不爱. It’s a loaded Chinese saying, I see it as the consequence of childhood trauma lol

Bad isn’t accurate, it’s more like cheeky, slightly reckless, fun, spontaneous, bold, silly, funny …

I’m so used to instability and crazy growing up that I can no longer live with the mundane. But that’s regular life, it’s supposed to be ordinary, repetitive and unfortunately boring 🥱

I hate to admit but I love drama, not the kind that gets ppl hurt but I enjoy the twists and turns of life - like when I randomly have a chat with a stranger, got into a car accident in Iceland, and almost quit my career for love.

And I get charmed by the boys who make me feel that way with a joke, a witty comment, a compliment, a nice scent, cool earrings … this silly list goes on!

I even sound stupid to myself when I’m trying to verbalise why I was charmed 😑

1️⃣ Boy 1

• matched on cmb

• picked me up past midnight in his own car on a random street after a work dinner

• amazing scent in the car

• muscles were made in the gym

• was gonna be a surgeon

• lives in a beautiful house near East Coast

🚩 later found out he sleeps around

2️⃣ Boy 2

• introduced by a friend from law school

• great conversationalist, asked good qns & shared insights

• 🆒 he dances so he’s fit

• is a dr

• generously got the bill every time

🚩 later found out he lost his faith

3️⃣ Boy 3

• matched on cmb

• can fly a plane

• fit from bft

• has life experiences similar to mine, not one dimensional

• great communicator

• also a dr

• generously got the bill

• has good dressing style

🚩 he probably had not gotten over his toxic ex

4️⃣ Boy 4

• co worker

• hit it off right from the v first convo, good vibes & energy

• smells great

🚩 the only one who isn’t Christian in this list

5️⃣ Boy 5

• matched online

• this is surfer boy 🏄‍♂️

• american with jap blood

• lives in batam, manages a resort there for work

• tall, lanky

• nice features

• black earrings

🚩 He did let out the f word during our convo once. Otherwise no other clear red flags.

He seemed v interested during our dinner but he later clarified over text (see pic).

No I didn’t confess, I’ve never confessed - like and love are such strong words that I could never be that sure that I like any boy if they don’t take the lead, archaic mindset I know 🫢

Just came here to rant and reflect because I felt sooooo bumped. Why is finding love so hard??? The emotional side of me just feels so DEFEATED.

The spiritual side of me knows that I’ll get to the point where I can thank God it never worked out. I know I can rest in His sovereignty and I know that His plans are always better than mine. I may not understand everything but history has shown me simple faith is all I need.

Love really requires a miracle ⚡️

#cmb #singlelife #dating