Different family dynamics? Here’s how we manage 🤝

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Hellu Zesties! 🍋

I’m back with another episode of relationship advice. Lengthy post here cos i’ll be covering a few topics on family dynamics.

💖 Large vs Small family

I come from a small family so I’ve <5 cousins. My family aint close with most of our relatives, so during CNY we rarely go visiting and if we meet up its usually awk, and at times my fam gets judged which is rly unpleasant 🥺 so our relatives are more of strangers to us.

My partner on the other hand, is quite close with many of his relatives and he has a huge family 🥹 This means, they’ve gatherings pretty often and its usually in huge groups.

As an introvert, i tend to get q intimated by huge crowds and get mentally drained from it. Plus my day job is in sales, so after an entire day of talking i do appreciate my quiet evenings or weekends. However, I know its not kind to avoid gatherings completely. So here’s how we manage so far:

🍯 Communicate how much alone time I need

🍯 Prioritise the larger gatherings (e.g. during CNY, Christmas)

🍯 Ensure that your partner is not left out during the gatherings

💖 Communication Styles

My family is q westernised vs my partner’s family that’s more traditional/asian. At the beginning, my partner was amused by how transparent the convos are between my parents and I 😂

My partner’s family is more conservative, so hence i’ll just have to be more mindful about my tone & certain conversation topics.

💖 Spending time together as a family

My partner’s fam usually spend time tgt by having a meal tgt a few times in a week, and breakfast on weekends. My fam usually bond through watching shows together. NGL, its tough for me to get up early for bfast on a weekend, im a mega sloth LOL. But i’ll try my best to start joining my partner and his fam for bfast soon. For my side, my partner does put in effort to watch Netflix with my parents in the living room, tho he might not necessarily enjoy the show 🥹

💖 Organising / Cleanliness Expectations

My fam’s on the extreme side of cleanliness, so everything has to be placed back in its original position else my fam goes nuts 🥺 i think it can be q overwhelming for my partner at the start cos my parents tend to “niam” when things just arent organised. But am thankful that he makes the effort to accommodate, and i guess its just a good habit to have things more tidy right? 😀

To sum it all up, communication is rly important to manage relationship expectations. But comprehension is key 🗝️. It’s important to ensure that your message gets across the way you want to be.