The truth about laser hair treatments 🍋

Laser. Hair. Removal. Okay, let’s get into it. You know how there’s girlies that get their lashes done, or nails every 2.5 weeks, or get botox? I’m the one getting my vagina hairs zapped off one by one and am LOVING IT. The results that is.

I am receiving treatments from Milan Laser and am currently halfway through my sessions which means I’ve been in the chair 6 times. Which means that a complete stranger has seen this naked mess a total of 6 times 🫣

I have a pretty big package that I signed up for (go big or go home, right? 😅) that I ended up scoring a super great deal on back in December when they were doing seasonal promotions. I’m currently getting my upper lip, chin, underarms, FULL Brazilian bikini (everything to the bootyhole), and full legs.

So there’s definitely 2 sides to this coin, I always enjoy getting bad news first so here we go:

The ugly:

- This. Shit. Hurts. There isn’t a single woman or man out there that wouldn’t agree at some level. At your initial appointment they talk to you about how it feels etc., but they downplay it. Especially with those of you with sensitive skin like mine, you feel it more. And you feel it more in certain areas that others.

My pubic bone is the worst, my thighs and chin are the best. The thicker the hair, the worst it hurts. Especially when you have scar tissue. That shit feels like the laser is going through your skin and out your back.

It does not feel like a tattoo. It does not feel like a prick. It feels like an intense hot and cold pinch for millisecond, but multiple times over and over again.

- the price. Yes yes, it’s expensive as hell.

- you give up a year, or more, of life without direct sunlight. That’s right, if you come in with a sunburn, they will make you reschedule or pause your sessions, which is worst because then the follicles could regenerate and then you have to start from scratch 🙃 so stay out of the sun and put sunscreen on!

And the negatives stop there. Moving on!

The great:

- financing options. The best part of going to Milan was getting the option to finance the work. They were able to take my lump sum, throw it on a 0% interest 3 year loan, and I can make payment whenever, however much, so long as the meet the minimum each month. It’s super easy which makes it affordable for all! PS, the more you bundle, the bigger the discount for each one.

FULL TRANSPARENCY - I financed $11k and pay $342 each month. I just divide it out between 2 paychecks each month and it works with my budget.

- you see results immediately. This was especially true for my underarms. After the first session, the leftover hair follicles would scrub off in the shower and while it was in patchy at first, I went from shaving every single freaking day, to once every other week. 6 sessions in, I’m shaving once every 5 weeks. 😳

- it boosted my confidence. I’m so grateful I started in January because now that it’s warm out, I don’t have to be afraid of having a 5 o’clock shadow with my underarms every single day. I can confidently wear tanks and go to the gym without dying in an oversized t shirt. I can now go from jeans to shorts without worrying about “Omg I didn’t shave this morning in the shower”.

I also had really bad strawberry skin on my legs. IYKYK. Now that I’ve stopped shaving, the skin on my legs has completely transformed and it’s gone slowly away. I honestly couldn’t believe it, I’ve battled it my entire life 🥹

- money & time. 1 year of laser and $11k later meant that I NEVER have to buy another shaver/razor blade, go through razor burns, have ingrown hairs, purchasing and burning my skin with chemical hair removal creams, the waxing, showering every day to shave, do I need to go on??? I think not.

- you can go back to work after a session. I do this alllllll the time. It takes me an hour to go in, get my shit lasered, and then I go right back to work. It’s my lunch break every 5-6 weeks. They have you dry shave any areas that have grown back and then you hop on the chair and then you’re out the door. Some swelling or redness may occur, but mine go away after an hour.

So here’s my advice:

- don’t go a week leading up to your period. You will get emotional and cry and its going to hurt twice as bad and it’s just not a fun time.

- don’t drink a bunch of caffeine before you’re appt. This will amplify the pain 🫣

- do drink Tylenol or ibuprofen 30 min beforehand

- ask for a stress ball

- it’s ok to swear during your session. It’s painful!

- do NOT feel embarrassed, hair is a normal body feature to have. It’s your choice whether you keep it or not 🩵

- stay out of the sun and wear sunscreen regardless. It’s 1 summer compared to the rest of your life. Just do it.

- if you get facials/Botox done as well, be sure to check with your aesthetician on how much time you need to wait before doing each one.

- love yourself enough to invest in something like this. ITS. WORTH. IT.

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