What I didn’t expect as an adoptive FTM

The last few months have gone by so quick!!!

And a little over a month left until we welcome our little man into our family! But what I didn’t expect is the brain change.

For starters, hi I’m Sam. I’m 26 (27 in June) I’m a brittle type 1 diabetic and have a handful of chronic illnesses and in just over a month I will be a first time mom. I’d love to say I’m carrying the child. But due to my body being the epitome of hostile environment that got tossed out the window before I was 18. Doctors have told me it could happen one day. But not likely.

My wonderful fiancé and I were already talking about adopting after we’re married and ya know, life stuff. But life blessed us with the right place right time. And have began the journey to adopting our first child. He is due in July. We expected to be scared and excited. But now we’re just counting down the days till he is here. Here is what we didn’t expect.

1.) I didn’t think I’d start “nesting” because I’m not pregnant. Wrong. If anything I think I’m over preparing…. And we haven’t even had the baby shower yet. But better to have and not need than need and not have. Between my fiancé and I im definitely the one who’s almost always prepared. But right now we are hard core winging it.

2.) Too Many Options!

So many options! For everything!! It’s enough to make anyone’s head spin! And it’s for everything, diapers, bottles, everything. I’m reading all the articles and so on and so forth. But nothing really helps narrow things down. Basically necessities are priority. Everything else can wait. A few mom friends have been helpful, family not so much…. But the last child either family raised is 25+ so we didn’t expect much.

3.) Guilt…

Birth parents have been friends of ours for a little under a year, and we’re friends before the adoption was even talked about. But I also know this is the hardest decision they’ve had to make in adulthood so far. It’s an open adoption and they’ll be part of our son’s life. But I also feel guilty af for being so excited to be a mom.

4.) the biggest thing we’re struggling with now is the self doubt. Will we be good parents? What’s gunna go wrong? No one is really ready to be a parent. We’ve honestly dreamed about it for years… now it’s happening and now we’re questioning ourselves.

The only thing we know for sure is we just want to be the best parents we can be. And even if we’re winging the majority of it, we will figure it out.

#firsttimemom #adoptionjourney #whatididntexpect #embracevulnerability #unfiltered

Luckily, we have an amazing support system in our friends and family. Going from planning a wedding to funding an adoption and kind of wedding planning has given me whiplash. But I think we’re both more excited to welcome in a tiny human than we are for the wedding😅