breaking generational curses as a teen mom

i got diagnosed with borderline personality disorder at the age of 17. a bpd diagnosis is typically the result of intense childhood trauma/abuse, which was the case for myself. although i hold no hurt in my heart for the people that put me in this position, i always knew my child deserved more than i had gotten.

as an adult i had to reflect on my childhood and make the decision that the generational trauma i was subjected to HAD to end with me. there was no other choice.

as a mom i only want to give my child the best of me so here are some generational curses i am insistent on breaking:

1. 2-parent household

my son has daily access to both his mom & dad. which is something neither me or his father had growing up. being teen parents has challenged our relationship in more ways than one but we pride ourselves on maintaining our relationship for our sons sake, and simply because we love each other.

2. we spend lots of time with extended family

i was estranged from most of my family as a young girl, for choices that were not mine to make. my partner also moved away from his entire family as a young child, so we find it very important to spend as much time as we can with our family. we want our son to know and love these people as much as we do, especially because the family we do have is small.

3. he's allowed to be a kid

i was forced to grow up extremely fast due to the abuse i endured. although it can be frustrating for myself to allow my son the childhood i didn't get, it's also extremely comforting knowing he will never have to make adult decisions until he is an adult himself. i will let him play and be a kid for as long as i possibly can.

4. he knows how much he's wanted and loved

me & his dad tell him daily how much we love him, and how much we are grateful for his existence. i tell him "i love you from your head, to your toes, and back up to your nose again!!" every single day without fail.

5. i stay home

i was exposed to a lot of things i shouldn't have been while attending daycare and after school care. i don't want my sons innocence taken from him so soon like mine was, so we made the decision to keep me home. this also ensures he is always getting the top level of care that he needs.

6. zero-tolerance policy for spankings/hitting

we absolutely under zero circumstances hit our son. it doesn't matter what he's doing, he receives age-appropriate discipline instead. i believe there is absolutely no reason to hit a child, especially not after what i went through in my childhood.

7. nobody yells at him

we are a loud family i will admit, we can have high volume conversations frequently but we will never and have never yelled at him. he will never know what it feels like to be spoken to with anger and disrespect from his parents. we will always come from a place of love and caring.

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