the key to making your relationship last 🫶 (below)

Trust: if you know your partner is not going to betray you, stop getting in your head about them. Let them be with their friends, let them go out. They can talk to the other gender without intention. If one day your overthinking mentality was implaced into your partner, you would likely call them controlling.

Loyalty: This is the most important one. This isn’t only applied for your partner, but anyone that you truly care about and value in your life. If you truly love someone, it shouldn’t be hard to resist temptations, honestly, if you love them enough, there shouldn’t be any temptations if you plan on spending your life with one person. If you act disloyal and can comfortably live with yourself, you’re doing something wrong. Acts of disloyalty to a partner is almost never the partners fault, there is a problem or need in the relationship through the unfaithful partners eyes and they haven’t properly communicated it.

Patience: Not every fight you get in is going to be someone’s fault. No two people in the world agree on every single thought that crosses their mind. The relationship is not going to be 50/50 everyday. People have bad days, some may be 80/20 and one is compensating, which is fine as long as they know they can expect the same. Remember to acknowledge your partners past and how that may affect their behavior and mentality. And no, you can’t change someone unless they decide to change their self, at best, you can support them.

Forgiveness: No one perfect. If you’re truly self aware, you know you’re not perfect, so why would ur partner be? Your partner is going to make mistakes and miscommunicate. Not all mistakes are going to be cheating. This component of a healthy relationship is “forgiveness” not “forget”. Forgiveness isn’t excusing an action. It is acknowledging and accepting a mistake of miscommunication with implication of improvement.

Priority: This list is about how to make a relationship work long term. If you feel that you can’t prioritize your partner, it may not be the time or they may not be the one. It is vital to make sure your partner knows they are important to you and that you consider them a significant part of your life.

Privacy: Stop telling your friends about your relationship conflicts. There’s nothing wrong with seeking advice from a trusted person, but you can’t internalize everything you hear. If someone offered you a pill claiming if you took it, you would have your dream build in five minutes, you would be skeptical. So why not be skeptical of the advice you get. Consider the fact that the person you seek advice from may be projecting based on their past negative experiences. It’s one thing saying “practice what you preach”, but another if you actually do.

Sacrifice: No relationship can be one sided or even unbalanced. Both parties need to be willing to make sacrifices for their partner because if it’s one sided, the other will never be truly happy. These sacrifices don’t have to be life altering, but recognize your partners wants, needs, and boundaries. You and your partner may be the most compatible couple on paper, but not in reality if you aren’t willing to make sacrifices for each other.

Independence: In contrast to prioritization

you need to remember you are your own person. There is a line in a relationship with priority that is crossed and become codependency. This is not healthy. This is not to say that you don’t need to make time for your partner, but you need to understand and accept that your partner has other priorities in their life, balance is key. Let them hang out with their friends, let them enjoy their hobbies, let them enjoy their own growth, remember it’s also your partner’s first shot living life too. It’s equally important that you grow by yourself as you and your partner growing together. If you can’t love yourself without someone, how are you going to be able to truly love someone else?

Communication: as of right now, no one can successfully and consistently mind read. Maybe twins, but if that’s your partner then there’s a much more significant problem there. You can’t expect you partner to know and fulfill every one of your needs without you voicing them. If your partner cares, they want to know your thoughts, your happy memories, things that make you overthink. I know it may seem easier said than done because your partner may not agree with you. But nothing can be fixed or improved without communication. At the end of the day, it’s better to know then not know, right?

P.S: you can make it work. If you truly love someone and anticipate spending the rest of your life with them, starting a family with them, building a home with them, grow with them, etc. you will be willing to incorporate or maintain these aspects into your relationship.

These are some things I’ve learned through experience that I hold to a high value. Let me know if this helped!

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