Cutting Contact with my Mother

"The blood of the cult is thicker than the water of the womb"

Translation - The family you find and make is stronger than the family you were born into.

I'm 30 years old, and after decades of trauma and manipulation, I have decided to go no contact with my mother.

This decision has been a long time coming.

I always felt as though my mother treated me differently, worse, than my other two siblings. When I was young, I wrote it off as me just being the middle child, meaning that my older sister needed things that I didn't quite understand yet and my younger brother needed things that I no longer did. As an adult now, I see that the way my mother treated me was more than just me having "middle child syndrome" because the ill treatment has continued from my childhood into my adult life.

My mother always made it clear, even going as far as to voice that my older sister was her favorite child. My older sister was always the golden child who could do no wrong. In fact, there were many times throughout my childhood that my sister would do something that warranted a punishments otlf sorts, and my mother would take it out on me so she didn't have to punish her golden child.

Flash forward to my adult life. My mom is a drug addict. She became addicted to drugs after my stepfather left her when I was 12 years old. She has been in and out of jail for the better portion of two decades, has done one prison stint of 9 months, and is currently serving a different, multiple year sentence.

I now have 2 children of my own, and I could not even fathom treating my children the way my mom treats me. Even hundreds of miles away, she finds a way to belittle me and make herself out to be a victim when talking to the rest of my family members.

Most recently, she contacted my younger brother to tell him that I won't answer her calls (she hasn't tried to call) and told him to ask me write her a letter and because I said no, I am an evil witch of a person, according to her.

I'm also mean and cruel because I have requested that my siblings and other family members don't share information about my life, especially not photos of my children, with her until she is capable of having a conversation where she takes some responsibility for her actions.

Her being in prison makes the no contact thing a lot easier than it will be when she is out, but I have a great support system in my husband and my friends who understand my decision, and will hold me accountable with withholding my boundaries.

I'm putting me and my family first, cutting out toxicity, and no longer will be giving time and energy to people who aren't active in my life.

#lemon8creator

#lemon8challenge

#embracevulnerability

#personalgrowth

#nocontact

#negativepeople

#selfworth

#familylife