Why I Really Veil

A gas station attendee (south Asian) threatened to kill “my kind” when I went in one evening for a simple purchase. I did nothing to provoke his anger except bring my purchase to the counter and offer my money in exchange for goods. But because I was veiled, this was an offense.

This was summer 2020, my first year veiling, the year the entire world started covering half their faces. Funnily enough, I started wearing the niqab a month before Corona made its way to the United States, my home, my indigenous homeland.

So when the masks started coming out, I no longer felt alien. Everyone spoke my language.

And as kind and gentle as people became, I began to run into the most disgusting animals in human form that really made me question my reason for veiling.

I’m not being forced. In fact, hubby prefers it if I make an effort to blend in. So why then do I put myself through this, conceal my beauty, and hide the silhouette of my body?

It’s really simple: it means people interact with me based on my character, not my appearance. Women don’t get catty and jealous; men don’t lust and flirt. I have total privacy to emote; I can eat messily; and it’s a privilege to see without being seen.

I don’t enjoy being seen. I admit it. Some would call this a cop out. I just call it opting out of western beauty standards. I’m under no obligation to participate in beauty politics, and my big F.U. to a society that treats women based on our youth and attractiveness is to completely conceal what I’ve been given.

I control who has access to me, who can gawk at me, and who can call me ugly. Because if anyone says anything about me, good or bad, it is due to my heart and not my presentation 💕 #lemon8christmas #l8r2023 #dayinmylife #embracevulnerability #lemon8usa