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I鈥檓 not gonna lie- this 5k was ROUGH. I ran out of my asthma meds a week or two ago and started wheezing within the first mile. My usual 5k shorts are currently being held hostage by my ex so I had to wear these yellow ones that are just 馃too big. My phone flopped out of them as soon as I took off so I had to hold it and felt so awkward. I hadn鈥檛 stretched enough, or ate enough, or drank enough.
Basically, everything felt off about this race. I ached and wheezed my way through the course. By mile 2, I wanted to quit. But I kept going! I kept running!
My goal was to finish in 30 minutes, and I missed that by a whole 6 minutes. When I finished, my thoughts were so negative. I was beating myself up for having my slowest 5k time this year. i nearly cried on my way home. ED thoughts were starting to fill my brain. But then I paused.
I finished the race. I finished it- despite my asthma, despite my clothes not fitting, despite everything I felt went wrong. I got up this morning and I ran that race. I might鈥檝e finished last in my class but I finished! When I compare myself to past versions of me, I see how good I鈥檓 doing. Last year, I couldn鈥檛 run even a mile. In high school, I couldn鈥檛 run period.
So yeah, the race didn鈥檛 go how I wanted it to, but at least I got up and did it. At least I finished. And when I framed it that way, the cloud of depression that was starting to form slowly cleared.
For every negative thought I think about myself today, I commit to think 3 more positive things about myself.