How to converse with someone facing depression🧐

Here are some professional techniques and tips trained counselors, psychologists, and therapists use when conversing with someone suffering from depression or anxiety.

Background Information

Depression often goes hand in hand with anxiety. Most people suffering from depression also experience some form of anxiety. The four main types of anxiety disorders are generalized anxiety disorder, panic disorder, social anxiety disorder, and various phobia-related disorders. At times, individuals with depression or anxiety may be misjudged by the public as using their “illness” to justify their actions. However, more often than not, they truly do not want to endure the experiences and feelings associated with their condition. While there may be a few individuals who misuse their situation as an excuse, the majority genuinely suffer.

Counseling Techniques

1) Active Listening 👂🏻: Many people have the misconception that psychologists and counselors are there to provide solutions and answers to their problems. This is a misunderstanding; we are there to listen to your concerns and guide you toward self-realization regarding how you can address your challenges.

2) Reflection and Summarization 🧐: Sometimes, we listen without fully engaging, assuming that our mere presence is enough to make someone feel at ease. However, a person may have multiple issues they are grappling with. We often focus on the most prominent parts of their concerns, but every word they express is important. We cannot self-filter what we believe is significant. Therefore, it is essential to reflect on what they say and summarize it back to them to confirm understanding. This approach shows that you are present in the moment, truly listening to their cries for help, rather than passively hearing without processing.

3) Challenging Questions 🙋: The issues someone is facing may seem trivial or small, but it is not your place to dismiss their feelings by saying, “I think you’re making a big fuss over this,” or “I don’t think this situation is worth being sad or angry about.” Instead, you can highlight incongruences and conflicts in their thought process. By gently challenging your friend, you open the door for therapeutic exploration, allowing them to discover for themselves that the situation may not be as significant as it feels.

4) Empathy: Many people assume they are empathetic, but how can one measure true empathy? One of my favorite sayings is, “The day a blind man sees, the first thing he throws away is the stick that has helped him all his life.”🧑🏻‍🦯illustrates a powerful transformation. When a person gains new insight or strength, they might let go of the very tools that supported them in difficult times.

In the context of empathy, this suggests that while we may want to help others by urging them to move on or see things differently, we must first acknowledge the importance of their “stick”🦯—the coping mechanisms and perspectives that have helped them navigate their struggles. Just as the blind man’s stick was essential to his journey, a person’s feelings and experiences are valid and important.

Being empathetic means listening deeply👂🏻, validating those feelings☺️, and allowing others to find their own path to healing without rushing them to discard what has helped them cope. Only then can we foster a genuine connection and support their growth. Can you still be empathetic toward your friend even when you don’t fully understand their experience? Empathy goes beyond simply feeling for someone; it requires us to recognize and honor their journey.

In a world where mental health struggles often go unnoticed, your ability to support someone with depression or anxiety can make all the difference. By practicing active listening, reflecting on their feelings, asking thoughtful questions, and embracing empathy, you create a safe space where they feel understood and valued.

Remember, every person's journey is unique, and the challenges they face are deeply personal. Just as the blind man’s stick symbolizes the support he once relied on, so too do the coping mechanisms of those around you represent their resilience. By acknowledging their experiences and being present in their moments of vulnerability, you not only offer comfort but also empower them to navigate their path to healing.

Let’s strive to be those compassionate listeners, the steady hands that hold space for others as they share their burdens. In doing so, we can transform lives—one conversation at a time. Whether you’re a friend, family member, or professional, your support can light the way for someone in darkness. Together, we can foster a culture of understanding, acceptance, and hope. Remember, it’s often the smallest gestures of kindness that leave the most lasting impact. 💕💕💕

#mentalhealth #wellbeing