was he being reasonable?

I made a post a few days about my movie moment, love and how he’s leaving back to Rio de Janeiro. in the post I talked about how I’ve never noticed that I do need my own personal space, but what I didn’t talk about, however is the fact that I realize that I cannot be in a relationship and this time of my life and here’s why-

at first, I thought it was really cute that he was being affectionate all the time when someone else walked by to kind of show me off and be like “yeah I did that” but after the situation that happened I feel like he is being a little possessive and I don’t like that at all.

So, we are a group of four volunteers at the hostel we were at, and he is one of the guests. The volunteer group usually does a lot of stuff together since we’ve all become quite close, friends and love spending time with each other. Every now and then we invite a guest out with us if they match our vibe and feel like they could potentially be a part of the group (this is how Brazil boy got to be a part of the group).

A few days ago and you guest arrived from London and he said the group criteria and kind of matched our energies so we invited him in and decided we will all go to the museum together.

I have already gone to the museum with Brazil boy on a “date” but we didn’t have enough time to go to the planetarium and go through all the different levels of the museum so I wanted to go again with the group.

The day before we were all supposed to go to the museum one person said she didn’t wanna go anymore because of something personal that happened (which is completely fair and understandable).

Then the night before we were going to go to the museum the volunteer couple went out to a club to see a DJ until 6 AM in the morning so they said they will be too tired to go to the museum with us. I hate canceling on people, so I still fully intend and going to the museum, especially because I wanted to see the planetarium show.

In my head, boy, boy and me are all going to the museum. To my surprise, Brazilian boy decides he does not want to go anymore because he wants to save money. I plan on going with London boy and we make plans for what time we will be leaving in the morning so that we can spend a good amount of time there, and go through everything.

That same night I was talking about getting sushi (which is $36 per person) and never tried sushi so he doesn’t even know if he likes sushi but he said he wants to come with and try it. We didn’t end up going, but this is important to note for the story.

Right before I go to bed, Brazilian boy walks in to my room and is acting a little weird, so when he came to lay down for cuddles, I asked him why he looks sad. He proceeded to tell me he is not sad, but he is pissed off at me, because I am still going to the museum with London boy.

I kept quiet for about 20 minutes because I was too in shock that he was mad at me for going and not canceling plans that I arranged just because he decided he didn’t wanna go anymore. After a while he finally broke the silence by explaining that he is mad because we went there on a date and everyone else canceled so I should cancel because it is not fair to him that I am going with this guy.

In my head, I was running through all the scenarios as to why can be mad because we are not a couple. We are not in a relationship. We are just going with the flow for the time he is here because when he leaves, there’s literally no future for us so we were just having fun. AND he is the one who ended up canceling.

I finally responded by pointing out the fact that he is the one who canceled and it’s not fair of him to be mad at me, or blame me for the situation because I thought we were all going together.

He proceeds to make his argument by saying that he needs to save money because he had to buy a new plane ticket so he cannot spend more money on stuff like this.

Pointed out the fact that he was willing to spend $36 on the something that wasn’t even sure if he would like or not (sushi) and that is six dollars more than the museum which we knew he would like because he also loves the stars and wanted to go to the planetarium show that we didn’t go to last time.

After that, he laughed and said that I’m right and he’s sorry because when I put it like that, it doesn’t make sense what he’s saying.

Honestly, I kept it cool because he’s almost leaving but that was kind of a big red flag to me and made me feel very claustrophobic and like he thought I was his possession.

After thinking everything through, I realize that even though relationships are sweet and romantic and lovey-dovey, I just don’t think I want one in this side of my life because I will constantly be meeting new people by being in the hostel industry and I will want to spend time with them without having to feel like I’m going to hurt someone else’s feelings.

I also don’t want to feel like I am caught or trapped and not be able to just do what I want when I want because of someone’s expectations of me.

this was probably one of my longest entries, but I had to get this off my chest, so do you think it was wrong of me not understand why he didn’t want me to go out with just the other guy or do you think he has right for wanting me all to himself, even though we’re not in a relationship?

#lemon8partner #lemon8diary #dating #relationship #drama