My mental health before & after losing weight

Since all of you loved the weight loss content that I posted I wanted to share a little bit more insight about how I felt mentally and emotionally during my weight loss🥲🥲. Honestly I feel that people who haven’t personally gone through a weight loss won’t understand how I feel. Even though I’m happy to receive lots of compliments about how I’ve lost so much weight I just feel that the simple “oh my god you look so good now” it’s no where near how much effort I put in to lose all that weight.

When I was at my lighters I felt really pretty and that I accomplished a lot . This was because I could fit into clothing I could never fit into. I could wear cute outfits, bikinis, crop tops, zippers would come all the way up and i just looked better in pictures. But what you don’t see is my constant obsession over stepping on the weighing scale. When I moved from a size XL to S I felt so happy. However the moment when I do not fit into an S, I would go crazy. I will be so stressed out and sometimes I would not feel like going out.

I think that was my problem when I lost weight was that I put so much pressure on how much I weighed on a scale. And I don’t think it was very healthy for my mental well-being. sometimes I will cry just because I felt the shorts was a little bit tighter than usual and I felt like this was a tell-tale sign of body dysmorphia. I always wanted to look a certain way and have a certain body time which was definitely not healthy. As much as I tried to keep a very healthy diet with lots of vegetables fruits and less meat, sometimes I will punish myself and not allow myself to indulge in a proper meal whenever “fat”.

Fast forward to today I am definitely not a skinny as I was in the second picture but I would say I am happier. I’ve gone through so much from being the big size girl to the small size girl and now the mid-size girl. I’m still trying to love my body every single day and it’s not something that I can change overnight. I need to learn to be patient and kind to myself and to learn that it is okay to have some fats here and there. Not going to lie it’s really stressful to always think about how many calories are in a food product or how much sugar is in a drink. Where I’m at now I just eat whatever I feel like eating in moderation.

I listen to my body and try not to punish myself whenever I fall off my routine. As you all know I started to go back to the gym and I hope this might push me to lead a healthier lifestyle. I’m hoping to find my relationship again with food and body and this is something I want to work on for the rest of the year.

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