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Hey girls, recently I went through a really huge breakup with what couldāve been my āhusbandā and Iāve been doing a lot of healing to get me through this process. Glory to God, Iām content & at peace now. So, if youāre going through something similar, this is how you do breakup correctly - 101 class in session!
The first 30 days of the breakup, your goal should be absolutely ZERO contact! This is of course to not be confused with the first 1-2 weeks of the breakup where you both would have thoughts like āmaybe we might get back together, the arguing phase, the weāre still crying over each otherā phase.
So let me break this down for you. Thereās the initial breakup for whatever reason why you guys broke up. Then, thereās the week one to week two window of opportunity ā I like to call it where whoever is trying to win you over or the other way around : That is the window of opportunity where you get out your anger, you get your āclosureā, whatever receipts you need to share, whatever confirmation you need, you get it within the 1-2 week period.
After that 1-2 week period is over, thatās it, ZERO CONTACT. Whatever you need to do to not contact them like block them, delete them, delete your social media, the pictures & the messages. DO IT then. Need I remind you, zero contact means when they text you, āhey, I miss youā, you do not reply with anything or anything petty like āwhoās this? wrong number!ā. You disappear out of this personās life. I know itās easier said than done but just try it! You will struggle with it at first but slowly youāll get the hang of it. This has been the best thing I did for myself honestly.
Within that zero contact of 30 days, you get a pass to be as unhinged and chaotic as you possibly want to be. Whatever you need to do to distract yourself, to have funā¦ you go do that thing but make sure to remember to be safe all the time. All of your friend will blindly support you. Listen to me, and if youāre not the one going through the breakup, you should blindly support your friend during those 30 days. This what I like to call the unhinged phase. Let them be & let yourself be free.
After about your 4th weekend of doing a bunch of unhinged activities, now this is where we need to start processing the situation. Maybe things start hitting & you start to realise youāre actually not getting back together this time. The relationship is over. This is when youāre gonna write THE LETTER. Whenever youāre at your saddest, your lowest, youāre crying because the seatbelt smelled like him, crying over tiny little things that you donāt even realise is stupid ā Youāre gonna laugh at it later, trust me. Thatās when you write everything you wish to say to this person. Write everything youāve been feeling, your thoughts, how youāre feeling mentally, emotionally, physically because we all now that we cant eat the first 4 weeks. Weāre constantly sick to our stomach.
Then, youāre gonna find a hobby and find something youād like to do. Youāre gonna start going to the gym. Find an exercise that you like and go to the gym for 2 hours. I know you probably cant get enough sleep during this mourning period but by working out, this will help aid to fixing the sleep that youāve been needing plus youāll loose some weight and be more toned now & get that revenge body.
Let me remind you of something. youāre going through a breakup. So start zooming out on life. You need to remind yourself every single day to zoom out because life is not about having a partner. Do you know how huge the universe is and youāre stuck in your bedroom crying over this one rat. Just think about that. Live out of your cocoon and see the beauty in the breaking. There is so much more to life than just loving that one person. I know it hurts babe but at some point you need to snap out of it start acting like the woman you have always envisioned. Looking at baby pictures of myself makes me burn with motivation because I need to make that little girl proud. I need to do it for that little girl.
Go outside, hang out with your friends, pick up a hobby, join a pottery class. Act like this is your first day on earth. everything is new & everything is a new experience. Trust me, in 3 months time, go back to that letter you wrote and read it. Write down a list of 1 to 10 of you much better your life has gotten after the breakup. And I promise you, Iāve never experienced a breakup where my life was better before this breakup. Your life will ALWAYS get better after a breakup. Every. Single. Time. Rejection is Godās protection. Remember that. Youāll be fine & I love you.
Slay, Serve, Survive,
Najihah.M