Grieving and healing

Everyone has their experiences, and I’m thankful that pregnancy loss is becoming a more common topic. More and more women are feeling like they have support because we are actually talking about it now.

The problem is, we aren’t allowed the adequate time to heal after such a significant loss. I was expected back at work two days later. Therefore I never got the time to process and actually heal from a loss that completely destroyed me.

I was told I’d never carry my own children, so to be pregnant was like an ultimate blessing for us, but it was weird from the start, I thought it was just shock, but it was like I knew something was wrong.

I worked night shifts at a 911 dispatch center, as an assistant supervisor at the time, one morning I got off work and went tot he ER because when I went to the bathroom before leaving the toilet was full of blood. They broke the news then….the ultrasound was empty and my bloodwork wasn’t adding up. They got me into an OB the next day and for the next two weeks I got blood drawn every 48 hours to check levels. Still…so…hopeful. And then on October 23rd 2020 my doctor told me my baby was in my tubes and we needed to address it immediately because it could be fatal if not. My world fell. Thankfully I had the support I needed at home, and work.

What I’m saying is…people will talk about it all day long with you, but, if you don’t have proper support like I did during the grieving process, they’re just going to let you talk. There won’t be support, real support. Please don’t hesitate to message me if you need to talk, if you need support. You deserve a rock in your life, in a new friend or an old.

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