How Does Your Childhood Affect Your Parenting?

I was in a chat with my high school mom group recently. The topic of childhood came up. Many of my mom friends didn’t want to give their babies the same childhood they had. It made me think. I never realized how much our childhood affects how we parent!

It’s amazing that what we learned in our childhood is how we tend to parent UNLESS we reflect and change ourselves.

Here are some ways our childhood can affect our parenting:

1. Imitating:

We’ve learned how to react to situations based on the way our parents did, good or bad. We sometimes unconsciously act the same way.

For example: if our mom ‘blew up’ at us when we made a mess, we may blow up on our children when they make a mess.

Solution: Be self aware and reflect. If you feel yourself acting in a way you don’t want to towards your kids, ask if it’s something you learned from your past. Realize that you can change it, with a little self awareness and self discipline.

2. Projection:

We view our kids as extensions of ourselves. We may expect our kids to excel in ways we didn’t. Or if our parents thought we were ‘wild’ we may see our kids as ‘wild’. We may be fulfilling the ‘needs’ we had as kids, rather then the actual needs our kids have.

Solution: View your child as an individual who has their own needs, personality, interests and dreams! They are NOT you!

3. Critical Inner Voice:

Our insecurities of our childhood are amplified when we become parents. We may then transfer these negative thoughts to our children.

Solution: Challenge these inner thoughts and decide how you really want to act.

If we learn how to challenge our thoughts, reflect and be self aware, we can change how we act and react towards our kids. You don’t have to be a product of your childhood!

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