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I wish I had a âNormalâ Relationship with my mom but sadly that was not my circumstance. Girls are supposed to have this special bond and bestie vibe with their mom and I do have that with my mom when we are in a good space which is a coin toss đ
In my momâs defense she has been through a lot in her life from SA, Teen pregnancy, Multiple child losses non violent deaths but with so many trauma and a toxic environment with our family. I have never really held a grudge against her for her shortcomings but with her mental illness (Bipolar disorder, Depression and anxiety amongst other things like alcohol and drug addiction)
I have been through so much and iâm so exhausted because of this emotional roller coaster that we canât seem to get off. Although iâm no longer in need of her being there for me as I needed her back then I still need her now for her grand children đ
This is something I constantly struggle with accepting because truth be told every child needs their moms (and dads đ thatâs another story tho iâll maybe come back to that.) Even though me and my mom are not on speaking terms I pray she allows herself to heal and let go of the parts of her past so she can be the mom weâve always needed đ«¶đŸ
#mommyissues #toxicrelationship #mentalhealth #parenting #embracevulnerability #mamasoflemon8 #emotions #feels #fml