I always disliked troubling other people

I am someone who always dislikes troubling other people, even my own family members.

I just don’t want to feel like I’m imposing on someone, you know? Everyone is busy with their own lives, and I feel like I don’t want to make their life more difficult than it already is.

One such situation that comes to mind is when my dad always offers to fetch me around. He loves doing it, but I always politely decline. I feel like I don’t want him to go out of his way just to make life easier for me.

Though I would ask for his help if I urgently need it; as such, whenever I call for him, he knows that things are pretty “serious”.

From a logical standpoint, it is also not worthwhile, because just to save myself a couple tens of minutes, I am actually wasting more of his time.

I would feel like if I am able to settle things myself, I’d just do it myself instead.

I always knew for a fact that he would be very happy to fetch me around. He always looks so cheerful when he picks me up, like he’s excited for the drive, maybe even for the conversation we’ll have. But still, I can’t shake the feeling that I’m troubling him.

On the other hand, my brother is completely different. He always wants my dad to fetch him around, no second thoughts. My dad dislikes it, though. He’s mentioned it before—how it makes him feel more like a chauffeur than a father. The funny thing is, the more my brother asks, the less my dad enjoys it. I think it bothers him because he doesn’t feel appreciated. It’s like he’s just being used for convenience.

With me, it’s different. He offers, I hesitate. I turn him down sometimes, maybe too often, and I think he notices. I don’t know, it’s this balance between not wanting to trouble him and not wanting him to feel like I’m rejecting his help. There’s a small amount of guilt there, like I’m denying him the chance to show his care in the way he knows best. I suppose he just wants to feel needed, like he still has a role in my life.

And maybe because I don’t take him for granted, that’s why he is more eager to fetch me more than my brother. The more I don’t want my dad to fetch me, the more he wants to fetch me; and the more my brother wants my dad to fetch him, the more my dad doesn’t want to fetch my brother. It’s so ironic, isn’t it.

But looking from another angle, it made me reflect on life: while we don’t want to trouble other people, there are often many people around you who are more than willing to lend you a helping hand.

Don’t be hesitant to ask for help if you need to. For all you know, they derive joy and happiness from helping you, so don’t deprive them of that opportunity.

Give yourself the chance to be helped and give them the chance to be happy. It’s a win-win 🙂

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