I met my fiance on Bumble after 10 years on apps

I spent ten years off and on dating apps mucking through trash and learning lessons the hard way. When they first came out, there was nothing about physical and emotional safety. Sometimes I'm surprised I survive fairly unscathed. I'll be honest, if a higher power told me everything I needed to go through to meet him, I'd hesitate before agreeing. It was rough. Im still jealous of mt friends who spent a week or a few months on dating apps and found their partnets. The journey was specifically difficult for me. There are a few things I'd finally learned before FINALLY meeting someone.

1. I became okay with being alone which released desperation and neediness. I felt deeply lonely (romantically) after a trip and when I returned home I told myself, this feeling isn't great but I'm okay with it even if it lasts forever. I called my mom and told her there won't be a wedding or grandkids and I hope she's okay with that (she was but didn't believe it. She had hope for me)

2. I'd unintentionally set an intention and released expectations. This seems out of order, but on my trip, during a full moon, while feeling a strange lonely ache during a camel ride I asked the universe to bring me who is meant for me. I don't care if he's rich or poor, what he looks like, his height. Just bring me the person who is perfect for me. (I met him a few days later)  But after years of trying I felt it was an empty request. When I got home I threw out all my love manifesting journals and spell candles. I gave up.

3. I re-download Bumble out of pure curiosity, not to find love. Again no desperation or neediness.

4. Because of this, I uploaded more authentic pictures. I didn't care if I looked fat or if I wasn't showing off my body in the most flattering ways. I posted my most recent pictures just to fill up my profile. I didn't care what I looked like. I wasn't showing any skin and my full body pics were authentic. I also only posted three. Bare minimum.

5. I was brutaly honest in my bio. I didn't care to try to reel anyone in so I thought it would be funny to have no filter. I specifically mentioned I'm celibate and ready to be married. I wasn't worried about trying to play coy or mysterious.

6. I unmatched anyone who gave weird vibes or messages. Men who acted like they wanted to be chased, who were desperate for sex, who didn't wanna take me on a proper date or have a conversation were immediately unmatched. No I didn't go off on them, I didn't play games to teach them a lesson, simply unmatched.

A few days later I met my fiance but didn't know. I deleted the app a day after and something told me to give him the courtesy of connecting on IG. We had only exchanged a few pleasantries but he seemed nice. I wasn't desperate for him at all. I didn't think I'd see him again since I had been swiping in another country. I assumed he'd ghost me. But he didn't. I flew back to meet him irl and the rest is history.

He said the reason he swiped on me is because he wanted the same thing I mentioned in my bio, and my pictures were cute. He didn't care about being with a perfectly made up baddie with big boobs the way I used to portray myself. He liked the cute girl wrapped up in bundles of clothes bc the desert was so cold.

I truly think for me this was the moment all my lessons finally clicked and the universe gave me my reward, the thing I've desired and prayed for for years. A man who loves me for me, who protects me, who knew he wanted me and went for it.

To this day I can believe I'm engaged! It feels like a fever dream.

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