Are you responding automatically or consciously?

In our interactions with others, we are constantly navigating our unconscious and conscious. In highly emotional situations - excitement, sadness, anger, etc - we have automatic responses. These are the responses you've all heard of - fight, flight, flee. Terry Real adds another to this - "fix". ⁠

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We also respond consciously - there are certain skills we've purposely developed to try to build healthier and more functional relationships. Every single one of us has tried to consciously cultivate new skills. Perhaps at some point you read an article about how to respond to a friend who is upset or how to celebrate a loved one. Maybe you've gone to therapy and built new skills for responding to your own anger.⁠

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Sometimes our automatic and conscious reactions are at odds with each other so at times we might feel confused with our own behaviors.⁠

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Just a reminder, we are all a work in progress. If you notice you responded automatically to something in a way you don't like, take a moment to reflect on it. That first awareness begins to bridge a path towards newer ways of being with the people you love.⁠

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