Reflections on Regret: A Letter to Myself

Today signifies the conclusion of my probation period, a milestone I had earmarked to finally propose to my girlfriend, who patiently stood by me for eight years as I endeavored to secure a stable job. I hesitated to propose on several occasions due to two primary concerns: firstly, my unstable employment status, and secondly, the fear of repeating the mistakes of my parents.

To my dear S, if you happen to come across this message, I sincerely hope that S will provide you with the family you've yearned for, a promise I was unable to fulfill over the past eight years, but one I trust he will honor within the next two years.

I never anticipated that I would have to part with S on my quest to know God, someone who loves me more than I love myself.

“He is a Holy God who loves us and desire for us to love Him n that will help us to obey Him n do all that is right n pleasing to Him.”

-Jera