If you like Jess, do not read this! it’s long…

Okay, let’s talk about it!

(Spoilers…duh)

Jess was the most toxic boyfriend Rory had.

I use to be a Jess girl my first time ever watching this show. I thought he was so cute, understood Rory better than ANYONE, and was so smart. But then i watched it again… and again.. and again. I can confidently say after watching this show beginning to end over 5 times, Jess was awful.

First Meeting

I think we all should have realized since the first episode Jess was in, that he wasn’t a good person. Immediately trying to get Rory to sneak out? After seeing the dinner party her mom planned FOR him? The complete and utter disrespect that he had for Lorelai, will always anger me. People say Lorelai hated him because Jess reminded her of herself, i think it was because he was an absolute prick to her and everyone she cared about. Jess and Lorelai didn’t have anywhere close to the same upbringing. We saw clips of teen Lorelai, she was more like Logan than she ever was Jess. This is also the first time he stole from Rory, her book that he later annotates. Kind of rude to do without asking at all. But i know some of you are thinking (but it’s romantic 🥰) No, it really is vandalism! Not a great first impression.

The Chalk Prank

This scene. Ugh. The second that Dean walks out of the store and Jess realizes he’s Rory’s boyfriend, he’s a complete douche. Why? I never understood what his issue was, Dean treated Rory great. (Go to my page and read my post about Dean) I feel like if he genuinely cared about Rory, he would want her to be happy. So the immediate being a jerk to Dean, just because he’s with Rory shows an awful personality to me. If you don’t agree, imagine Dean is Rory in that situation, and Rory came out of the store to Dean talking to a girl, who is immediately a brat to Rory once she knows she is with Dean. Get my point? Jess was a mean girl trapped in a boys body!

The Fight at School

Some might not remember this scene! I’m talking about when Dean decides to try and help break up a fight between Jess and Chuck Presby, and Jess tries to sneak a swing in on Dean. Literally only because Dean is the boyfriend of the girl Jess JUST developed a crush on. Dean was NEVER rude to him, at all, by this point. Jess you toxic PRICK!! So Far, the only times we have seen Jess behave even remotely normal, is with Rory alone. That might be so adorable to the young girls here, but no!!! A boyfriend who treats everyone in your life like crap except for you, is going to isolate you.

The BASKET

Rory and Jess made me want to break my TV this episode. Jess goading Dean like this was disgusting to me. My heart shattered for Dean! He even when tried to rant to Rory about it, and she defends Jess and yells at Dean to calm down. Now again, Imagine Rory was Dean in this situation and Jess was the girl after him. Do you see? Rory had complete and utter disrespect to her boyfriend here. He didn’t want her going with another man. That is completely valid and she refused.

“Dean!☹️”

“What?!”

“Well…It’s tradition!🥺”

I know if any one of your boyfriends looked at you, and tried to pull what Rory and Jess did, you would have a complete mental breakdown over it. It was in no way cute or romantic what Jess did, it was to humiliate Dean and steal his girl. He was so smug about hurting Dean. Then Rory gets home, and throws an actual fit that Dean ranted to Lorelai after she went with Jess. Who else should he talk to?? Did he get her into trouble? No. He felt utterly betrayed by her, and needed to talk about it. This episode made my stomach hurt. Rory and Jess MIGHT have deserved each other… just because of how awful they both were! Match made in heaven for hurting those around them.

The Bracelet

I HATE how Rory had the audacity to ask Lorelai to try and treat Jess better. Yes, because throwing him a welcome to town dinner was so rude. Catching him opening a beer stolen from HER fridge, and trying to have a friendly conversation with him, was so rude! Inviting him to her workplace for a party, OH so rude! And Lorelai STILL tried after Rory asked. Only for Jess to barely give any effort back. Shocker! Sidenote: Dean would have cleaned those rain gutters for free, but in true Jess fashion he needed to be bribed. Anyways, he planted Rory’s bracelet back in her room, and then gave her the idea of where it could be to make himself look good. He was a calculated manipulator that’s for sure.

Bringing Food

First time Jess decides to try ignoring consent. He decides to bring Rory food when he knows her mother isn’t home, to be alone with her. Thank god Paris was over or who knows what serial cheater Rory would have done (hence why she forced Paris to stay) Anyways, earlier that day Rory spent a good chunk of time letting Dean know she wanted to be alone that night. She had her own plans, to do laundry and eat bad takeout. But Jess comes over and it’s fine! I hate her. Once Dean calls, planning to just drop her off some ice cream and kiss her goodnight (sweetie pie 😭) Rory asks Jess to leave and he won’t. He delays and delays and it’s just like?! How much MORE toxic can you be dude? Why do you want to make her life harder? Oh! Because you try to break up relationships i forgot.

Dean had a RIGHT TO BE MAD. Anyone who tries to say “she didn’t want Jess there! he yelled for no reason 😒” let’s pull our heads out of whatever hole you buried them in okay? Rory religiously told him she wanted to be alone, and he walks up to Jess being shoved out the door. Again, if your judgment is clouded here, picture Rory is Dean and Dean is Rory. Y’all would LOSE YOUR MINDS if you walked up to your boyfriend shoving the girl you are threatened by out his door as you said you were coming over. Dont play with me. Dean handled it SO much better than ANYONE in that situation would have. And only because Rory is a big fat stinking liar who let Paris take the blame. She didn’t remotely TRY to get Jess gone that night. She only tried to get Paris to stay with them.

The Car Accident

Nobody can justify any of this to me. She knew her boyfriend didn’t like Jess. She knew how upset and insecure it makes him when she’s around Jess. But she chooses to tutor him while Dean is out of state. Not only tutor him, but then let’s him drive the car DEAN BUILT HER WITH HIS BARE HANDS. I would have dumped her and never looked back because HOW COULD YOU?! How could you do that? To someone who has been nothing but nasty and has repeatedly humiliated your boyfriend!! Jess put her life at risk this night. He wasn’t watching the road, he was making her grab the wheel. He had no business driving her anywhere. Yes, Rory said keep going, but we have already clarified how airheaded she is. Lorelai was right, if anyone else was behind the wheel, they would NOT have crashed. Imagine your bestfriend or sister in a car with someone like that? Ugh. Not only did he crash, and fractured her wrist, but he told Rory this night that he thinks journalism is too rough for her. Then she spirals into self-doubt until he corrects himself 😒 great guy ladies and gentlemen!! Then after that, he dips town and ghosts her. After totaling her car and fracturing her wrist! But oh my god he’s just so perfect to her!

After Washington

So Rory cheats with Jess, and in her typical cheating fashion she has to flee the state after. Then proceeds to be super dry with Dean, who is writing her so many letters, and decides to write one to Jess instead. I’m adding Dean so much in here, to show you guys he did NOT treat her worse than Jess did. Dean calls her too, and she stops replying to his “i love you” :( Ugh, anyways she gets home and decides to dress all pretty for Jess, since Dean wasn’t even suppose to be in town. Like? You have a boyfriend that is 6’1, giving you princess treatment! But no! Let’s try to impress the 5’9 GOBLIN, right? Jess just proves how even more toxic he is, deciding to get a girlfriend because Rory went to Washington. I don’t understand, the literal trying to steal her for months from her boyfriend, then wanting revenge on her because she went on a school trip? What? What was the logic here besides just trying to hurt her? She wasn’t making Jess jealous on purpose, she was just in a relationship with her boyfriend of 2 years. Oh, but watching how upset she got was satisfying. Lorelai scolding her was satisfying too! Dean was so sweet, wanting to be home for her, completely unknowing of the WITCH he had for a girlfriend. Rory decides right here, that Dean is just a pawn to make Jess jealous from now on.

The Dance Marathon

Rory deserved to have a punch bowl poured over her head when Dean dumped her. He didn’t deserve ANY of the treatment Rory gave him. He did everything that he could for her, and she once again humiliated him in front of the town. Pining over Jess on the bleachers, as she’s standing in Deans arms. But he’s so awful for yelling at her in front of everyone? Again, if Rory was the man and Dean was the girl i bet you would feel different, huh? The double standards this fandom has IS CRAZY when it comes to Jess and Rory. Then Jess is an angel to Rory, because she’s finally single. Oh i’m so glad she’s worth your respect now!

The Winter Carnival

Here, Jess shows us he completely gave up effort once the chase was over. Rory begged and begged Jess to attend with her. She said it’s tradition, just like the basket raffle! Jess replies “Well that was when i was trying to get you, and now i have you, so that means i don’t have to go anymore. 🤷🏻‍♂️” Wow dude. Rory wanted to attend with him, have a fun night, but he can’t be bothered even though he knows she cares about it. He only wanted alone time with her, up in Lukes apartment, to make out. Dean would come over and hang with her and Lane, would stand outside for 2 hours while Rory book shops, but not Jess. The only reason he decides to attend, is once he knows Dean is going and wants to stake his claim. His attitude to Dean’s little sister was DISGUSTING. I would have lost all my feelings for him, but once again Rory shows how she’s also a pos. I’m sorry, but no matter how hurt in life you are, you have no excuse to be an absolute jerk to a little girl. He was completely foul and literally told her to go wait IN THE STREET when she asked him to bring her a snow cone. Great guy, great guy.

The Emily Dinner

Rory doesn’t even want to mention Jess to her grandparents, that says a lot to me. Emily has to force her to invite Jess over. Jess then refuses, until Rory has to once again bribe him to go. He makes her give up a book, that she was JUST talking to him about how excited she was to read and know more. And give him kisses. All to meet her grandmother who she has the upmost respect for. He should have done it, just because she wanted him to. Then, he shows up and is AWFUL. To both Emily and Rory. All because he isn’t a man, can’t handle his emotions, and can’t just tell his girlfriend the truth. Then, gets up and abandons her there when he was suppose to be her ride home. She literally chased him all the way to the door, only for him to slam it behind him. Yeah, i can see why everyone loves him. he’s great! Rory thinking he fought Dean wasn’t a stretch. Hard not to assume that, when your boyfriend is the definition of toxic!

The Hockey Game

He literally treated her like they were friends with benefits. She sat at home for hours, beside the phone, waiting for him to call her like he said he would. Only for him not to bother because he got out late. How would you feel if your man did that? No Jess it’s never too late to call, especially when you told her you were going to. She was going to do it AGAIN until Lorelai had to convince her you don’t accept that treatment. Then she sees Dean is in fact, NOT pining over her like she wanted, but is moving on. She sees how well Dean treats Lindsey, and decides to call Jess because she knows he’s been treating her worse. I actually applauded when she called and left her message. “Finally!! She’s standing up!” Only for her to literally tell him to delete his messages once he choose to show up with concert tickets. ONLY because Lorelai yelled at him. He literally was just going to go home before she told him girls like Rory deserve better treatment. I didn’t find that gesture sweet at all. Just like an ex buying flowers after destroying your self-esteem. He truly didn’t have the first idea on how to treat her.

The Party

Jess is sulking the entire time they are watching the band practice. He again, can’t be nice around any other human being, but Rory. Even those that she cares about. Who wants a boyfriend like that? Everyone in Rory’s life hated Jess. Lorelai, Lane, Emily, Dean, Taylor, Babette, etc. Why? He treated them all awful, like the awful person he is. Anyways, he’s whining the entire party. All he wants to do is leave and take Rory with him, never mind her bestfriend is performing her first gig, it’s all about Jess! Thankfully Rory didn’t let him take her, and stuck up for Lane and the band. Only for Jess to then abandon her and go upstairs. And we all know what happened up there. People cry “Dean yells at her over nothing!” I think he talks loud and is an expressive actor, therefore you all think he’s yelling when he’s just being Dean lmao. But we ignore Jess screaming at her for not wanting to lose her v-card at a house party?? Never mind you just made your girlfriend flee the room in tears, but then walk by her going “figures” when she runs into the first person she feels safe with and gets comfort from? Dean was so hot here, and he definitely won in my opinion. Especially for his exceptional behavior the next morning wanting to correct his wrongs. Jess couldn’t be bothered though. He then gives Rory the silent treatment, after what HE did. The last moment they have as a couple, is on the bus as he’s trying to ghost her AGAIN. Where he lies once again, saying he couldn’t get tickets to prom a thing she really wanted to do, because he actually flunked out of school. The way her heart completely breaks when he tells her!! ugh.

“You’ll call me?”

“I’ll call you.”

and he dips town. What a GREAT guy. First time he left after destroying her wrist and car, and this time he leaves unresolved issues after almost trying to force himself on his girlfriend. GREAT GUY!!

Liz’s Wedding

Jess confesses his love for Rory on the street, then dips again. Only to show up at Yale after his mothers wedding, and BEGS Rory to drop out and runaway with him. Did you guys block that out? Where he chases her into her dorm, like a madman, acting like they are soulmates? When she has literally no feelings left for him after she realized how bad he was to her?

“Only say no if you REALLY don’t want to be with me!”

“NO!!!!”

Finally. She realized it. She knows he’s not the man for her, and he is in actual DEEP need of therapy. This was my favorite episode, how sad and shocked he looked! What did you expect buddy? He had made absolutely 0 self improvement in his time with his father, and was still rude to Lorelai when she confronted him about calling Luke a burden. Absolutely 0 changes in him. GOOD RIDDANCE!!!!

Why Did You Dropout Of Yale?!?!

Let’s get this cleared up, okay? Rory did not go back to Yale, because Jess screamed at her on the street after Logan hurt his ego. She went back to Yale, after jess the high school drop out, told her he was a published author working at a press in NYC. As Rory, the Yale dropout, was sitting on her bed at her grandparents house, moving toward a career in the DAR. She went back, because the fact that jess of all people became more successful than her, was baffling. Truly made me laugh how shocked she was, after telling him the entire relationship “you will do so much! i know it!” did you actually believe that Rory? 😂 She was jealous and felt utterly pathetic after his visit. It wasn’t his words, or his connection to her that sent her back though. It was her need to not be lower than Jess Mariano in life, because that’s pathetic!

In conclusion, if Jess is your favorite, you crave toxicity. He had nothing in common with Rory, besides books and music. He had 0 respect for anyone she cared about. And literally showed his entire time on the show his desire to isolate her from everyone. The asking her to give up her education and dip with him, proved that. She lost all her feelings after they broke up. She literally regretted leaving Dean for Jess, and ADMITTED IT in the show!! I believe Jess and Rory are amazing friends, and she truly is proud of all he accomplished. He obviously never lost feelings for her and never will. That’s his karma for not listening to anyone who ever tried to help him.

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