Surviving A Religious Cult

How Growing up and surviving a religious cult still

affects me today

•ALWAYS FEELING LEFT OUT

We we’re definitely in the inner circle , both of my parents were youth leaders at the peek of our time there. But we just weren’t in the inner family and they made sure we knew it. Being “ left out” of events and dinners where my best friends were constantly made me always feel like an outsider

•FEELING LIKE IM BETRAYING THEM

Since finally speaking out to multiple news sources recently I still find myself thinking “ Do they really deserve this , they were always so nice to me” I have to remind myself daily of the awful things I went through at the hands of these people and no matter how charismatic that the leader is that it’s all a facade.

• FEELING LIKE THERES SOMETHING “ WRONG” WITH ME FOR BEING OUTSPOKEN

Being outspoken was always seen as “ disrespectful” unless it was by the family themselves. And being disrespectful meant that you were possessed by a demon. Going through multiple exorcisms where you being screamed at for hours for being disrespectful really makes it hard for your brain to truly believe that being outspoken and standing up for yourself does not equate to being disrespectful.

•DEEPLY MISSING MY FAMILY STILL IN THE CHURCH

my bestest friend ever my entire life was my cousin. She was so sweet and someone I loved spending time to and talking with. Her grandparents are the leaders and I knew as soon as I spoke out about my experience that my relationship would be over probably forever. It was the biggest sacrifice that I had to make. Sometimes I wish I could just go back and stay quiet to keep from loosing her , it’s something I struggle with daily.

#cult #church #survivor